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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

My mum

18 replies

LazySusan11 · 01/02/2017 18:24

My precious mum passed this afternoon, her final hours were excruciating to bear her breathing was so noisy and distressed. I feel so lost without her

OP posts:

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BigFatBollocks · 01/02/2017 19:39

I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

It's normal for the breathing to be like that at the end. I'm pretty sure it sounds worse than it actually is and that your mum most probably wasn't distressed. X

RoundTheBend · 01/02/2017 19:42

Oh I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

My Nan, apparently, had very heavy strange breathing before she passed but we were all reassured that she herself would not have been aware.

JillJ72 · 01/02/2017 19:48

I'm sorry to read this, Susan - I was reading your thread this afternoon. It sounds like you had a wonderful relationship with your Mum - hold that thought close. Look after yourself xx

DramaAlpaca · 01/02/2017 19:50

I'm very sorry for your loss

LazySusan11 · 01/02/2017 20:15

I'm sure it's normal that I feel completely broken. I have no idea about funerals at all. My mum was my world she breathed life into everything she was one hell of a woman! We were so close I feel like a part of me has died with her.

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bilbodog · 01/02/2017 20:23

Thinking of you - take one day at a time and try to think about the good times you had.

ThymeLord · 01/02/2017 20:55

I'm so sorry It's such a cliché but it's a good one, just take each hour and day as it comes. Put no pressure on yourself.

3littlebadgers · 01/02/2017 20:56

I'm so sorry

Ankleswingers · 01/02/2017 20:58

I am so sorry for your loss

echt · 02/02/2017 06:56

Sorry for your loss, LazySusan

sandgrown · 02/02/2017 07:03

So sorry for your loss Susan. I spent last night with my aunt who is dying and her breathing is the same. Her brother who she had not seenfor a few years arrived and she opened her eyes and spoke to him. It was very touching. I agree you just have to take one day at a time

LazySusan11 · 05/02/2017 22:28

Struggling horribly night times are the worst, I got a lovely card the day after and immediately picked up the phone to call her then realised. I hate that she's not here that she was the only one who really understood me who I could tell anything to and now I can't.

I felt angry today that she's died and left us to feel all this pain, I feel anxious and sick all of the time my chest hurts I feel like I can't breathe.

I have no idea how to be in a world without my mum.

OP posts:

123rd · 05/02/2017 22:46

Sorry to hear how you are feeling. I've not lost my mum , but other close relatives.
How you are feeling sounds very " normal" that doesn't help you but please just go with the anger, sorrow, helplessness and every emotions in between.
Take care of yourself

echt · 06/02/2017 08:44

Night times are horrible, I've found, LazySusan

Many and my best wishes for you.

Rainatnight · 06/02/2017 08:45

I'm so sorry, she sounds like a wonderful woman.

LazySusan11 · 13/02/2017 17:49

It's been 12 days today and Saturday night the realisation finally hit me. My mum has died, I have not stopped crying since. They came and took away her bed and other equipment she had today. Seeing her face cream half finished, her hand cream things with her writing on are crippling me.

I have no idea how I'm going to get through the funeral this week or in fact the days after. We were so close and I feel so separated and alone.

It feels like every part of me has been filled with sadness that wraps itself around me and almost suffocates me. When will I start to feel better. I'm really struggling.

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Kahlua4me · 16/02/2017 09:21

I am so sorry for your loss.

The pain in your chest will ease, eventually. I found that one day I suddenly realised that it had gone and that may me cry too. I didn't want the pain to stop as felt as though that would mean mum was further away, if that makes sense.

It has been 18 months now since my mum died and I am feeling calmer and life is on a more even keel. It has certainly been the hardest thing I have ever been through. I used to see her a lot during the week and we spoke 2-3 times a day so the change has been immense.

My db and I had counselling through cruse initially and I have had private counselling since then. Dc had some counselling through their school to help them. Mum died in an accident on holiday so we have had trauma/shock to deal with. I don't think it increases the grief or loss at all, just changes it.

I found that talking about her to everyone, anytime, really helped. I didn't hide my feelings and that helped to get it all out.

Please do feel free to pm me if I can help you at all.

Callmesausage · 16/02/2017 15:14

So sorry for your loss Susan. My mum died a month ago and it still feels like it happened yesterday. I too am finding it hard to not pick up the phone to call her too as we spoke several times a day.

I have no words of wisdom or comfort but totally understand how you feel.

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