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Getting overwhelmed 7 months on

(5 Posts)
sarahC40 Mon 30-Jan-17 21:46:41

Hey, I've posted on here before about this feeling of being overtaken by grief, but I guess I thought it might have eased a bit by now. I don't think about us losing my bil all the time, by any means, but both my dh and I just feel pole axed by it. It bubbles up at the most unexpected moments - teaching poetry at the moment (not really related closely to loss) and I feel unreliable in my emotions almost all of the time. Is this 'normal'? I feel like we are doing this all wrong somehow. Help, please, with some comfort or advice. Thanks for reading.

echt Tue 31-Jan-17 12:13:16

There is no normal. I'm at seven months after the sudden death of my DH. It doesn't ease to any timetable, in fact about 6-7 weeks ago I was at very low ebb indeed. I mistook the new normal for what it actually was - gnawingly sad. Coping in the day to day pushed aside active sadness. Agree about the unpredictable emotions, I think I'm OK, but am really always teetering on the edge of tears, angry and suspicious.
I find music sets me off. DH loved music and so much is associated with him I find it hard to listen to.

I'm not sure of there is any comfort, death is fucking horrible. No matter how it's dressed up, you've lost someone you love and it's utterly and forever shit. Never sure about advice either: one day at time has been said to me so many times it's lost meaning.

Sorry for your loss, sarah. Not been much use.sad

sarahC40 Tue 31-Jan-17 21:55:08

Thanks for reaching out though - somehow it helps. Agree don't think one day at a time means anything when you're see sawing between anger and disbelief. Do you find that you're actually shaking your head because you don't believe it's happened? It's so hard - we have a big family, who are all really close and when there's a very young child involved it just plain hurts like hell. I wish you some peace today - can't ask for more than they I think. X

LuckyBitches Wed 01-Feb-17 09:51:54

3 years post the death of my lovely little brother, and I still can't believe it's happened. I know it happened because I was there, and there was a funeral etc. but I still can't credit it. When I try and grapple with it, which happens every day, it still hurts. It's so unbelievable. And I'm a bit behind echt in that I'm still struggling to not try and look on the good side, which has been a lifelong habit. There is no good side to losing someone you love.

flowers

LuckyBitches Wed 01-Feb-17 09:52:41

I meant to add - sod one day at a time. One minute at a time is the only way I could look at it, OP. These emotions are all normal.

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