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Funeral directors being really difficult

(19 Posts)
wonderstuff Sun 29-Jan-17 10:30:51

They want 50% payment before the service, fair enough but they haven't, despite being chased 3 times provided an invoice the bank can pay. We are paying from the deceased estate, they have only provided an estimated cost.
Funeral is Tuesday, so phoned again yesterday, spoke to head office (there one of these that look like a local firm but in fact are a huge national outfit) explained, again, got a call this morning! Who phones on Sunday morning? Dh spoke to them and apparently they will wait for money after the service, but claim it's very unusual! Surely lots of people pay for funeral service from the estate? I'm shocked at how difficult it's been.

marriednotdead Sun 29-Jan-17 10:51:28

From my experience of arranging a friends funeral with a very low budget. The disbursements(?) which are payments to outside agencies have to be paid beforehand, the rest will wait. In our case, that meant that we couldn't confirm the funeral until the church and cemetery costs had been paid.

The funeral directors will take instalments if they have to, and although they push to get payment, in reality they told me that they will never send out debt collectors because they fear the negative publicity.

wonderstuff Sun 29-Jan-17 10:55:00

If the wrote an invoice for costs it would be paid, it's the chasing for money (on Sunday) and failing to write an invoice thats really pissed me off.

HemanOrSheRa Sun 29-Jan-17 10:58:27

How awful for you flowers. We arranged our Dad's funeral last year. As married says some things need to be paid 'upfront', like doctors fees for a cremation, church/crematorium fees. The actual costs of the funeral directors you should get billed for after the funeral. And yes, you should get a proper invoice sent to you.

Heratnumber7 Sun 29-Jan-17 11:21:58

Not an accountant, but perhaps it's not possible to invoice for something that hasn't happened yet?

Heratnumber7 Sun 29-Jan-17 11:22:49

Can you pay and claim back from the estate? They might find it easier to give you a receipt, accounting-wise

wonderstuff Sun 29-Jan-17 11:35:27

So much more straightforward if I can pay from estate, I don't have the money, would have to be credit, plus settling the estate accounts will be easier if I'm not having to claim back expenses. Just seems like such a basic thing, surely an invoice for immediate payment initially then a second following. I'm shocked it's not straightforward.

Penfold007 Sun 29-Jan-17 11:47:11

I'm sorry for you loss and the added stress the funeral is putting you through. The funeral needs to be paid for up front by whoever accepts responsibility for the deceased and then claimed back from the estate. To be fair to the funeral directors if they waited for the estate to be settled they could find themselves waiting years or even discover there are insufficient funds left to cover the bill.

endofthelinefinally Sun 29-Jan-17 12:00:12

Of course they should have just issued an invoice. How else would any business request payment?

They have behaved badly at a difficult time. I would have thought funeral directors would have a bit more sensitivity tbh.

endofthelinefinally Sun 29-Jan-17 12:02:00

It is usual to pay up front and reclaim the money from the estate - but you need an invoice to do that.

EggysMom Sun 29-Jan-17 12:05:50

I'm not surprised at them phoning on a Sunday - I'd imagine that this is a 7-day/week profession by necessity.

bluenose1986 Sun 29-Jan-17 12:14:15

I work for a bank and know that it's very common for the funeral to be paid from the deceased account with an invoice from the funeral directors. Why they can't give you one is beyond me what unforeseen costs could they possibly have? surely a funeral is a funeral and you get what you pay for? The op is trying to pay it upfront the funeral directors are being the awkward ones by not supplying an invoice. Even if the op was paying it from her own account I would suspect that they would want an invoice before providing payment so what's the difference?

poisonedbypen Sun 29-Jan-17 12:15:41

The bank will pay it out of the estate if you have an invoice. How odd that they wont provide one

wonderstuff Sun 29-Jan-17 12:19:36

They don't need the estate to be settled, there is provision for them to be paid immediately from the estate, all that's needed is an invoice.

wonderstuff Sun 29-Jan-17 12:21:37

Surely chasing for money on Sunday morning isn't on though, especially as it's the bloody funeral company that's preventing payment.

HemanOrSheRa Sun 29-Jan-17 12:33:09

They are behaving very badly. It's not 'unusual' to pay the funeral costs after the funeral has taken place. Are you close by to their office? I'd be inclined to put it in writing that there is provision to pay the costs and you need an invoice.

This is standard practice - funeral costs are always paid for from the deceased estate, if the money is there of course, whichever way round you choose to do it - either pay in full and claim back or the bank pay from the deceased account. But either way you need an invoice. Honestly, I really feel for you OP. This is making an upsetting situation much, much worse. Funeral directors are supposed to be there to support you and ease the process not make it worse.

bigbluebus Sun 29-Jan-17 17:04:49

I have arranged 3 funerals in the last 3 years and have never been asked to pay any costs upfront. For the 1st funeral (DF) the Funeral Director requested details of the Executors a week after the funeral so the invoice could be sent there (family weren't Executors). For DM's funeral (same funeral director) we gave details of the Executors when arranging the funeral and the bill was again sent to them a week or two after the funeral. I have recently arranged a funeral for my DD - different Funeral Director as we live in a different area to my parents. I have had to chase the Funeral Director for an invoice a month after the funeral! On all occasions we have put the flowers on the Funeral Directors account too. Not sure why we've never been asked for any up front money but that is my experience of 2 different FD's in 2 entirely different parts of the country.

mumofthemonsters808 Sun 29-Jan-17 17:11:30

Push for an invoice and check you have been charged for what you received.

wonderstuff Sun 29-Jan-17 19:03:11

Thanks all, reassuring that I'm not bu. I'm sure it will all work out.

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