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Bereavement

missed m/c - some questions

10 replies

jess1996 · 22/02/2007 16:29

I had a scan at 12 weeks on Saturday and found out that the pregnancy had stopped developing at 7 weeks. I spent Tues and Weds in hospital having the m/c induced with tablets. It was more painful than I expected, but I was well looked after by all the staff which helped. I lost a lot of blood which was scary. I'm back home now, but I had a couple of questions. 1. I'm only bleeding a little bit now, but I've had mild cramping pains on and off all day. Is this normal? 2. I think the only way I'll get over this is to get pregnant again asap. Is it ok to try before my next period (I know doctors prefer you to wait for dating purposes).

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J20BABY · 22/02/2007 16:43

i don't know the answers to your questions, but i'm so very sorry,
sending you {{{{{{{{{{a hug}}}}}}}}}}

x x

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stretchmarks · 22/02/2007 17:14

HI Jess,

So sorry to hear of your loss. I had a missed mc in August last year but had an ERPC after it. As far as I know the slight pain and continued bleeding is normal. You do need to watch out for signs of infection which include the bleeding increasing significantly again high temp generally feeling unwell etc.

It is ok to try and and get pregnant again straight away and it is perfectly normal to feel like this. Do give yourself time to grieve for this loss though as I know for myself and some others there was a feeling of numbness and shock when it happened and it takes a while for it to really hit you iykwim

On a positive note I am now 16 weeks pregnant again and all is well.

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StrangeTown · 22/02/2007 20:40

So sorry for your loss Jess, such a sad experience.
Not sure about the recommended wait post induced m/c - not sure how much of your womb lining comes away and if it takes time to build back up. I had an ERPC which means this is needed.
I think there quite a few MN who got pregnant immediately with no problems.

Hope someone else comes with more info soon.
STx

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jellybeans · 22/02/2007 20:46

Hi Jess, so sorry for your loss. I had bleeding and cramps after my 3 m/c. I rang the doc and they said unless womb area is tender and temp is up, not to worry. But it won't hurt to ring your doc if you are worried to check. I got pg within 1-2 months after my first 2 losses. Sometimes you don't ovulate till after a period or two. hope you are OK and again, so sorry for your loss hun xx

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YummyMummy34 · 22/02/2007 20:48

So sorry Jess - I lost a baby before Xmas too. I know exactly what you are going through. The bleeding is normal and should tail off. If it doesn't, see your GP as it may be retained products (hate that term) or infection. As for TTC again, good luck and I was told you can start trying again ASAP (don't have to wait for an AF as this is for dating purposes). Like Stretchmarks suggested, you are going to be on a rollercoaster of emotions for a few weeks and grief/guilt/hormones take a grip of you -It certainly hit me. Take care, and there are plenty of us to chat to if you need to. MN was my rock a few weeks ago!

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lulu1414 · 23/02/2007 15:35

Sorry Jess- I've been there too. I had a found out at the scan that the baby had no heartbeat, but was 12 weeks and 4 days... The doctor told me that I could start again as soon as the bleeding stopped completely. I totally understand your feeling of wanting to get pg right away- I felt that too. Unfortunately, I didn't get a period until 4 months after, but I had an ERPC now it looks like there may have been complications. Just give yourself time to grieve.

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Mumpbump · 23/02/2007 15:41

Hi Jess. Sorry for your loss

As a general rule, the recommendation seems to be to wait until you've had one period for dating purposes, but I don't think getting pg straightaway carries any greater risk than if you did wait. But Strangetown's got a good point that it might be different where you have a medically induced m/c. I would ask your doctor or even the EPU about this.

I think being pg again does help enormously, but can be an emotional rollercoaster, not only because of the fear of another m/c, but because you're still grieving for the baby you've lost. I think you just need to do whatever is right for you...

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castlesintheair · 23/02/2007 16:18

I know how you feel about wanting to get pg again asap but, having been there 4 times, IMO I would wait until at least after your 1st period so your body has some chance of healing especially if you are still bleeding, which is quite normal btw. Sorry long sentence! What I'm trying to say is your body needs to be healed so you can successfully carry a pg. After my 1st m/c when I bled for 3 months, I got pg again straightaway and lost it at 8 weeks. I do understand how you feel though and on a more positive note, I now have 3 DCs. Sorry for your loss, it's very sad.

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jess1996 · 23/02/2007 16:20

Thanks for all your kind comments. I am feeling a lot better today. The pain has gone and the bleeding has almost completely tailed off (I thought it would last much longer). I still think the best thing for me would be to get pregnant again as soon as possible. Although it will be terrifying. Will I be able to have more early scans just for reassurance when/if I do get pregnant again?

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bobbynog · 23/02/2007 16:35

Sorry for your loss Jess, i went through the same thing this time last year. I waited for my first period before actively trying, i think the time helped me heal emotionally and physically. I now have a 4 week old DS. Being pregnant did help, but it was also very terrifying - i don't think i relaxed until i was holding my baby in my arms.
As for an early scan, it really depends how sympathetic your doctor is - mine was a complete b'ard, and told me the nhs's resources were already stretched without doing unnecessary early scans. In the end i paid to have a private scan with bupa. I had it at 8 weeks and saw the little heart beating - it was reassuring, but only for that day, iyswim. But if i was ever pregnant again, i would have another early scan - waiting till 12 weeks is unbearable.
Good luck
p.s. there are some great, supportive threads on hear, trying to conceive after miscarriage , and pregnancy after miscarriage.

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