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How can I help my parents?

(4 Posts)
NotABudgie Tue 03-Jan-17 15:48:33

My young adult sibling has died, by suicide.

Needless to say, it is horrific. Even more needless to say, it is even more so for my poor parents. I'm helping as much as I can with practical things, and generally trying to keep it together and keep things ticking over. I'm also trying to ring and talk (or allow them to talk) when I can.
I've found support groups for them but - understandably - they are not ready for that yet.
Is there anything else I can do to try to ease any of this for them?
Any advice would be massively appreciated.

Many thanks.

LuxuryWoman2017 Wed 04-Jan-17 12:47:41

I'm sorry for your loss and I'm afraid I don't have any advice for you, butI didn't want to not respond and hopefully something wiser than me will come along.

You have lost your sibling and you will need to try to take care of your own needs, thoughts and emotions too.

Your parents must be going through all kinds of hell and nothing will make that better but please don't neglect yourself.
Do you live near them? Any other family rallying around? Other siblings?

I take it this was recent? I think it's a case of hour by hour, day by day.
Again, I am so sorry your family are going through this.

NotABudgie Fri 06-Jan-17 13:07:27

Thank you for your reply, LuxuryWoman.

And thank you for your concern about me, too.
I am finding outlets for my own grief - I am utterly devastated by this, so I have to, really. I'm just trying to make sure I "put" my own stuff elsewhere (e.g., I am lucky enough to have some very good friends to talk to), so I can try to be there for my mum and dad. I just often don't know what to do for them. Perhaps there is nothing.

Thanks again.

LuxuryWoman2017 Fri 06-Jan-17 13:17:55

I just happened to see our reply while I take 5 minutes for a coffee.

I think if you live close enough the only thing you can do is the practical. Cook them dinner while you're visiting, let them talk, help clear up or do laundry if that's falling behind. Eventually I guess there will be your siblings belongings and finances to sort out which will be cripplingly hard for you all. (I'm not sure how recently this happened or how far along you all are with things like belongings)

Eventually you might suggest they seek help from bereavement helplines or counsellors, but it may be too soon, I'm not clear from your post .

I wish you all well, and hope you find some peace again going forward and I'm glad to know you have good friends. Do your parents? Anyone you can contact and ask to keep calling by? Again, it's not clear if you live close to them.
Take care of yourself.

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