I posted on here last month after my mum's death and you were all supportive so perhaps you can advise me on a situation which I don't think is normal.
I am still grieving mum's death and have been coping ok in the day when I have to do stuff (self employed). Obviously it is worse in the evenings when I have time to reflect. I have found the build up to Xmas very hard as DM loved Xmas shopping. I have had a couple of anxiety attacks in the small hours but I assume that is par for the course. Being an only child has made it harder as there is no family support.
Initially my partner was supportive when DM was ill and up to and after the funeral. However, I haven't been able to talk to him about her illness, death etc since then as he says there is no point, its in the past and he doesn't want to hear it all the time.
We have been together a long time but live together only half the week in separate houses. I assumed we would spend Xmas together as we always do and so booked a carvery Xmas lunch for the day and I paid for it.
He has now told me he doesn't want to spend Xmas with me because I will be miserable and he wants a nice time not 'depression'. Today he offered to come to the Xmas lunch only if I didn't mention my mother! I am now faced with cancelling the meal to try and recoup my cash - nearly £100.
Partner is miserable because he is skint and has had toothache for weeks. He had teeth removed due to infected gums. He has also repeatedly moaned about shouldering more of the workload of our joint business. Hardly a week passes when he doesnt whinge about the fact I spent the past 2 years caring for DM (as well as working my socks off in the business).Also moaning his sex life isn't as good as it was.
So I 'll be spending my first Xmas without DM alone. I have friends and will see them some time but obviously they have their own families. Partner will probably go to his daughters place. I told him he was a vile, cold heartless bastard but he just said I don't appreciate what he's been through . Which is a joke ffs as he has no bloody idea of the pain watching your DM suffer and decline for 2 years. It hasn't affected him because DM never liked him and they had no relationship.
Surely I have a right to expect more support than this?
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Bereavement
1 month since mum's death and alone at Xmas cause partner is fed up of my "misery".
starshine1926 · 21/12/2016 16:51
Of course!! 
It has only been a few weeks. Your partner sounds really unsupportive.
You need care and love not this. He sounds totally heartless and selfish.
Have you any extended family or close family friends where you could get support?
What a prick! He thinks having teeth out is on par with the loss of a Mother? Send him with his bags to his daughter's because he's a grade A fuckhead.
I'm so sorry about your mum OP
I can't believe he told you he'll only spend Christmas Day with you if you promise not to mention your mum 
for you, OP
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Hello Starshine,
I read your other thread but couldn't find the words to post at the time. My mum died 6 months ago, it's a really tough time. Waking up feeling anxious and panicky is totally normal, it is only in recent weeks that I have noticed this fading.
What is not normal is your partners reaction. He should be supporting you practically and emotionally at this time. Some days I come home from work and I just want to crawl into bed. When DH comes home he takes over with the kids and that's exactly what I do. There are days I just burst into tears in the kitchen and he shuffles the kids out and come back to give me a hug. When I am ranting about the hospital or my family he just listens. I only say this to highlight how way out of order your DP is.
It's a shame about the money for the Carvery, but please look after yourself this Christmas. Better to spend the day alone or following some MIL dramas on MN and waste the money then have to not talk about your dear mum.
Where to start? Ohdearducks got it spot on. As if losing your mum wasn't enough.
Many , starshine, so sorry for your loss.
What a twat and a selfish one too.
Don't stay with someone who had such little regard for you OP.
So sorry for your loss. I've lost both my parents - they were alcoholics abd difficult but it still hurt even though I've a very stable and loving family. U neesupport! Yes dont dwell as you can just make yourself more unhappy but you still need comfort - big hugs to you 
Second Cruse, they really are great. Unlike your"d"p
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