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Friend's loss

(6 Posts)
Peachsploosh Sun 18-Dec-16 20:48:09

Hi, I have a friend whose fiancé died earlier this year. They were due to get married just after Christmas. I won't actually see her on the day as we will be with our respective families for Christmas but wondered if anyone has any advice on what to do to acknowledge the day. Is a card sufficient? It doesn't seem enough somehow.
Thank you in advance.

NavyandWhite Mon 19-Dec-16 18:28:15

That's very sad OP.

A card with some lovely words to let her know you're thinking of her would be good. Could you arrange to see her shortly after Christmas?

Peachsploosh Mon 19-Dec-16 21:00:49

Thanks for your reply navy. I've had dinner with her tonight & she has booked a few days away with her sister so I will send a card for her sister to give her. It might be that she is doing ok on the day & I worry that making it 'a thing' will make her feel worse but it is too important a day not to acknowledge.
It is made all the sadder as she says she has accepted she will always be alone now. My heart breaks for her.

echt Tue 20-Dec-16 08:40:26

This kind of thing is always going to be fraught.

My DH died suddenly nearly six months ago. I've had Christmas cards where I've inwardly bridled at the suggestion my Christmas must/will be sad. On the other hand, the one that said they suspected my year had been shit made me smile and appreciate their forthrightness and spot-on appreciation.

You can't not mention it, but would say, from my point of view, that saying Christmas would in some way be tainted is best avoided.

I'm not being helpful, am I?

All the best, OP.

NavyandWhite Tue 20-Dec-16 08:46:46

It's hard echt. I'm sorry you lost your husband.

I remember the first Christmas after we lost Ds in the Nov receiving a card saying "
Hope you a fantastic Christmas " shock yeah right course we will.

OP you sound lovely. I'm sure whatever you do will be just right.

Peachsploosh Tue 20-Dec-16 22:43:25

Thank you both. I'm so sorry for your losses. You have been helpful echt. I think people often don't know what to say but any kind of acknowledgment is a good thing, just to show you're thinking of them. I bet there are a few people who have avoided sending you a card at all!
Christmas certainly won't be what it was for you but I hope you are spending it as you want to.
So sorry to hear about your ds navy. I can't imagine anything worse. We live next door to a park & there is a tree that always has cards & balloons or teddies on it. The girl it's for died 12 years ago but her parents are clearly struggling with their loss every day.
Anyway, on that cheerful note, thank you both again & I hope you have a lovely Christmas & beautiful memories xx

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