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Cancer

(5 Posts)
beansbananas Mon 12-Dec-16 12:16:42

I'm on my way home to see my father who is in the final stages of fighting terminal cancer. It has been a year since his diagnosis and he has not had one moment of reprieve from the pain in all that time. Watching him slowly decline has been heartbreaking, and it has been a terrible year because of this and also because I lost a baby at 17 weeks in the summer. I'm trying to be strong for my family, but I am not sure how to handle my own tears and grief, let alone theirs. I probably sound so selfish, but I'm as frightened to see him get worse as I am to lose him. I know many of you have lost parents and wondered if there is anything I can do for him while he is suffering, or for my mum and sister who are both very fragile emotionally, and are struggling to come to terms with our imminent loss. Perhaps there is nothing you can do can prepare you for moments like these...

LuckyBitches Mon 12-Dec-16 13:16:59

What a horrible situation - all you can do is what you're already doing, being there for your family, and them for you. Nothing can prepare you, but what I've learnt is that the grieving process is our instinctive way of healing, the best you can is just let it happen. Toilets are great for crying, if you get caught short!

flowersflowersflowers

ReluctantlyRedundant101 Mon 12-Dec-16 20:36:59

There really is nothing to prepare you but something a doctor told me a few weeks before my father passed was that it doesn't keep getting worse & worse. At that stage it couldn't have been any worse so I was frightened of what lay ahead. Turned out the end came relatively unexpectedly and quite peacefully.
None of its easy flowers

Basicbrown Mon 19-Dec-16 12:18:07

I think that you need to be kind to yourself. However strong you are as a person this is going to knock you all for 6. Is it that your mum/ sister are just being more open about how hard they are finding it? Really sorry flowers

danTDM Mon 19-Dec-16 12:20:18

I'm so sorry flowers

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