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Books on bereavement

(21 Posts)
MrsBartlet Tue 22-Nov-16 20:55:39

Can anyone recommend any books on bereavement? I need something that deals with bereavement in general but also how to help children who have lost their dad.

Badders123 Tue 22-Nov-16 21:08:43

You'll get over it - the rage of bereavement by Virginia ironside is good for adults.
For children I would recommend the sad book by Michael Rosen and badgers parting gift.

MrsBartlet Tue 22-Nov-16 21:12:29

Thanks Badders. I will look at those. I work in children's publishing so I know about books for children but I was wondering about books for adults to read to help them help children to cope. Does anyone have any recommendations?

Badders123 Tue 22-Nov-16 22:42:31

I would perhaps check out counselling organisations and see if they have any publications?
Like cruse or similar?

Hellenbach Tue 22-Nov-16 22:45:47

Winston's Wish have a good selection:

echt Wed 23-Nov-16 02:49:31

I was given this book by the organ donation people after DH died.

It's Australian. Very plain-spoken. Excellent.

MrsBartlet Wed 23-Nov-16 08:04:19

Thanks - they all look good. I will order some now.

phoria Wed 23-Nov-16 22:41:47

Just read A Monster Calls, which is an amazing children's book about grief. In fact, out of all the books I've read about grief I'd say it's the best one by far.

MrsBartlet Thu 24-Nov-16 08:04:25

Thanks, phoria. I was looking at a Guardian list of books on grief for children and it mentioned A Monster Calls. What age do you think it is suitable for? I need the books for my nephews and one is 6 and one is 12 - would the 12 year old be too young for it? I have given Badger's Parting Gift to the 6 year old.

phoria Thu 24-Nov-16 11:34:15

MrsBartlet - I think 12 would be fine. You don't mention how their father died. For me it's the best book I've read on grief because it captures really well the grief and guilt someone feels when their loved one dies of cancer as my mum did. It's a really beautiful book, well worth reading even if you're an adult.

MrsBartlet Thu 24-Nov-16 15:14:25

Thanks, phoria. He hasn't died yet but it is imminent. He had a stroke last week which caused catastrophic damage to his brain stem and he is in intensive care. We have been told he won't be coming home and it is just a matter of time. I am trying to prepare for the best way to help my sister-in-law and my nephews when the time comes. And to help myself get through the grief as he is my little brother.

Badders123 Thu 24-Nov-16 15:59:37

How awful.
I'm so sorry x

phoria Thu 24-Nov-16 19:13:46

I'm so sorry to hear that. I know what it's like to be stuck in that horrible limbo where you're waiting for someone to die and it's horrendous and exhausting.

How kind and considerate of you to be looking out for your nephews. Hope you're taking good care of yourself too. xx

Ethelswith Thu 24-Nov-16 19:17:00

Try here - Good Books For Tough Times

I wish I'd never had cause to know about this site, but I think they are very good.

slenderisthenight Thu 24-Nov-16 20:08:54

For children:
No Matter What.
Badger's parting gift.
The fox and the star (kind of weird - depends on the child).
Paper dolls (Donaldson)
Shirley Hughes has a great story about a surprise birthday party where a kitten is given following the death of an old cat called Smokey. Very sensitively handled.
Winston's Wish have some good recommendations too.

For adults...
If you have faith (or not), A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis is well worth trying.

slenderisthenight Thu 24-Nov-16 20:09:53

And I'm so sorry flowers.

Do call Winston's Wish. They are very reassuring.

slenderisthenight Thu 24-Nov-16 20:13:39

The memory tree is also lovely.

MrsBartlet Thu 24-Nov-16 21:06:14

Thank you all for your kind wishes. It is the most difficult thing I have ever been through in my life so I can only begin to imagine what it is like for my sister-in-law. She is so inspiring - when we are in the room with my brother, the love between them is palpable. I feel lucky that he has such an amazing wife and that he knows how loved he is.

Thanks for all the suggestions. A copy of Coping with Grief arrived today and I have started reading that. I feel like we are grieving already even though he hasn't died as we have lost him as we knew him. It is so bloody hard and unfair as he is only 39 and a very good man and a lovely dad.

phoria Fri 25-Nov-16 01:57:29

39 is so young! What a terrible thing to happen. It must have been such a shock. It's called anticipatory grief when you start to grieve before someone dies. Feel free to message me if you need someone to speak to.

I also started reading Joan Didion's Year Of Magical Thinking but never finished it.

The best thing I've read about grief isn't a book but a Reddit comment:

I think I might start reading some of these children's books. smile

MrsBartlet Fri 25-Nov-16 07:55:23

Thank you for sharing that post, phoria - that is a beautiful way of describing it. I imagine I will be reading that a lot over the coming months for comfort.

RooDaisy Sat 26-Nov-16 21:56:11

Me too. I've just sent that post to the family whatsapp group. We lost my Nan unexpectedly at the beginning of October and it's still so painful.

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