I wrote about James when he died. My username was mumof2teenboys then. It's his birthday today, he would have been 27 years old. It has been 4 years since he died, he committed suicide after a diagnosis of bipolar disorder. I've been sitting here since 4am this morning crying, proper tears and nose running crying.
I'm not even sure why I'm posting but it hurts, my beautiful boy isn't here. He is never going to walk through the door again. He is never going to tell me what is going on his world. He is dead and gone, he made a decision and we have to live with it but it was the wrong decision. We love him and miss him, we need him.
He taught me everything I know about love, he taught me how to be an adult. We grew up together, we learned from each other. He gave me a purpose and a reason to be a better person. He gave me so much, he humbled me with his beauty and his intelligence.
He was funny and loving, he was clever and strong. He was angry and scared, he was hurtful and sad. He was my heart and my everything.
Why does it hurt so much this birthday? When do the tears stop falling so frequently? Do they ever stop falling?
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.
Bereavement
James, my boy.
31 replies
darumafan · 19/11/2016 08:02
OP posts:
usual ·
26/11/2016 23:06
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.