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Selling the family home

(7 Posts)
Wizardinthegarden Mon 14-Nov-16 18:36:13

My mum died almost 5 months ago. My dad died 5 years ago. My siblings want to put the house on the market but I am struggling, I feel it is too soon. I have been crying all week since it was proposed. We all grew up there and it was my mums home for 50 years. I still feel a strong emotional attachment to the place. I know it has to go but I just don't feel ready. Anyone else go through this? What would a reasonable timeframe be?

Alorsmum Mon 14-Nov-16 18:41:22

I think it would be reasonable to put it on the market now in the knowledge that a sale won't go through for a few months. I am sorry for your loss.
For what it's worth I found clearing the house when my mum died awful and I had to do it in a gradual process and stuck a load of stuff in my attic that I just couldn't deal with sorting.
The executors do have a legal duty to administer the estate reasonably promptly.

BigFatBollocks Mon 14-Nov-16 18:41:52

Hello, sort to hear re your mum and also ur dad. I lost my dad nearly 2 years ago.
My thoughts r, just get it over and done with. I hear what your saying tho, but by keeping it for longer (for no reason) it is just prolonging the inevitable and you'll probably still feel the same anyhow iuswim?
Good luck.

BigFatBollocks Mon 14-Nov-16 18:42:51

Sorry, not sort!

BackforGood Mon 14-Nov-16 18:49:17

I'm sorry for your loss, but I agree with your siblings. For me (and I know everyone is different) I needed to be doing practical things and found it quite cathartic to actually have all the practical things that go with house clearing etc., all done. It was kind of a tiny step back to 'normal life'. I don't think you are doing yourself any favours by trying to postpone it - it just leaves everyone in limbo.

corlan Mon 14-Nov-16 19:03:32

Sorry for your loss wizard.
I lost my mum last year and I felt like you do for a long time.
It took about 6 months to put the house on the market. What really helped was clearing out the house. It was extremely difficult and painful at times but it also helped me let go. As you see the house empty out and know that all your mum's stuff has gone on to a good home, it does help you disconnect from the house itself.
My mum's house sold after a few months and I haven't felt the need to go back, although I live very close. My mum is with me and my children in memory now, if you see what I mean. It's a good thing that another family will go on to live and make their own memories in my old family home.

Wizardinthegarden Mon 14-Nov-16 19:45:49

Thanks for the quick replies! I know I am postponing the inevitable and now that the subject has been raised its hard to put a time line on "waiting a while longer" .

I just feel like I had gotten my head together since her death and now someone has taken my lifeboat away iyswim. Of course I am the youngest so there is an element of feeling no one listens to me anyway...but thanks again for sharing experiences, I find it helpful.

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