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Eco Funeral - I need to help my best friends daughter plan, need to arrange urgently, can anyone give me some advice?

(19 Posts)
yohoohoo Mon 14-Nov-16 16:55:40

Sorry for the brief wording but need to get this written quickly otherwise I'll breakdown again sad

Extremely sad but my best friend has ended her own life. Her young daughter has been left to arrange and sort everything - she is expecting a baby in a few weeks time. I want to help her as much as I can. My friend was extremely green and would want no fuss or expense and an eco burial/funeral would be quite fitting.

It happened last Thursday so still awaiting the Coroners report which may not come for a little while - however time isn't on our side due to the baby being due.

Has anyone any advice they could give on procedure, kind of costs, can we pre-book now even though no death certificate etc...

So sorry for rambling

yohoohoo Mon 14-Nov-16 19:57:48

Anyone?

Frenchfemme Mon 14-Nov-16 20:16:32

No advice, sorry, but just wanted to say how sorry I am for what you are going through.flowers

Bertucci Mon 14-Nov-16 20:18:51

Sadly, I think attempting to go eco will cost more.

Owllady Mon 14-Nov-16 20:19:29

Get in touch with a funeral director? They should know about eco funerals, they are quite common
I'm really sorry to hear about your friend, her poor poor daughter too sad look after yourself x

ParadiseCity Mon 14-Nov-16 20:20:24

I am so sorry. You poor thing. Your poor friend and her daughter.

Has an undertaker been chosen? They will help with all of it. If you haven't chosen one yet, you can visit a few and then decide who to use. (I can tell you who I would suggest you avoid but won't in case you've already gone ahead.)

ParadiseCity Mon 14-Nov-16 20:22:21

PS and imo when arranging a funeral a good question is how will it help the chief mourners. Yes have a think about what your friend might have wanted but ultimately I'd do whatever will help her daughter grieve and heal. flowers

fruitbats Mon 14-Nov-16 20:23:43

Sorry to hear about your friend. Eco funerals are quite expensive, but a funeral director will give you advice on all options.
It is not usually possible to book the funeral date until the death has been registered, but you can still make contact with the director of your choice.
I hope you get what you require thanks

averythinline Mon 14-Nov-16 20:26:45

A friends family had a lovely humanist service in a wood near them in Dorset- shes not around so cant tell exactly which one but this organisation has a list

www.naturaldeath.org.uk/index.php?page=find-a-natural-burial-site
as does this

www.naturaldeath.org.uk/index.php?page=find-a-natural-burial-site

hth

Katymac Mon 14-Nov-16 20:28:20

My dad wanted a cardboard box but that wasn't on offer at our undertakers - he had a wicker basket which my mum was happy with & it was no more expensive than a wooden one

He would have been so cross at burning 'good wood'

I am sorry for your loss

Locally we have woodland burials - might that be an option?

CMOTDibbler Mon 14-Nov-16 20:32:37

I'm so sorry, how awful for her daughter. A local funeral director will be able to help you with an eco coffin (cardboard, wicker etc) and a woodland burial - you can just have a small ceremony at the graveside, no big fuss. My aunt and uncles funerals were both conducted by a humanist celebrant who made it very personal and appropriate, but if her daughter really wants no fuss, then I'm sure the FD would manage the whole thing. I think costs would run at around £2.5k all in

If cost will be a problem, ask about a 'simple funeral' or a 'direct cremation' which will be cheaper. If the daughter is on certain benefits there can be help with the costs

Marmitelover55 Mon 14-Nov-16 20:33:23

I had to organise my mum's funeral recently. We considered a cardboard coffin but the undertaker was very anti them and said it would be similar to an Amazon box and more expensive than a wooden one. We ended up going with wood in the end.

Hufflepuffin Mon 14-Nov-16 20:47:17

I'm so sorry for your loss. I don't know about eco funerals, but I would suggest your friend's daughter requests at least 8 death certificates when she registers the death. They are needed for all sorts of things.

My mother died a little while ago and her best friends (and their interest in my children) have been a great comfort to me.

starsorwater Mon 14-Nov-16 20:59:16

i am so sorry, thank goodness the daughter has you. So sad for both of you.
I just wanted to say a friend had a cardboard coffin and it was white painted with her favourite flowers.

LuckySantangelo1 Mon 14-Nov-16 21:03:55

Hi OP so sorry for your loss. My mum had a wicker casket which was eco friendly & I believe you can get wool caskets which are sustainable. You can ask for no flowers. A funeral directors will be able to help.

2gorgeousboys Mon 14-Nov-16 21:11:39

So sorry for your loss Yohooho. I don't have any advice about eco or green funerals but wanted to say that I would have thought you can start making plans with the funeral director. My father in law died last year and due to complicated situations it too about 3 weeks to get the birth certificate/ body released, we had arranged everything by that time and just needed to confirm a date once we knew we would have everything.

Hope everything goes as well as it can for you and your friend's daughter.

ManaFleet Mon 14-Nov-16 21:39:08

So sorry for what you're going through flowersflowers

yohoohoo Mon 14-Nov-16 21:56:28

Thank you everyone. Yes really think we need to get the ball rolling and get everything in place. I have found a woodland burial site meadow fairly nearby Im going to call them tomorrow so I have most of the information to hand for when I see her this week. CMOTDIBBLER yes thus us the type of service I was thinking and also feel my friends Daughter would find comfort. It's so hard Im devastated but need to be strong and help her.

CMOTDibbler Mon 14-Nov-16 22:06:39

I know the humanist celebrant was incredibly good at spending time with the family to really say things that were meaningful about someone who had been in a very difficult situation, and made it a celebration of the good person they had been iyswim.

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