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Wedding coming up, thinking of Grandad

(7 Posts)
Bearcats Sat 15-Oct-16 23:58:11

Hi everyone,

First of all, I've lurked these boards and all your stories are heartbreaking. I almost feel a fraud writing this as it pales in comparison to some of the things I've rest but felt like this section of the forum would be best.

I lost my Grandad over two years ago. We were really close, and he was very much 'head of the family'. He was young when he died, only in his 60's. He had leukaemia, and despite going into remission a few times unfortunately the cancer beat him. It was a dreadful time for my whole family, particular my dad (Grandad was his dad).

I still get quite emotional - every so often something will remind me of him and I'll just get really upset, have a good cry and move on, until the next time!

I am getting married in a few months. On part of our invite was a 'I promise to dance if you play' section where people could song request. My Nan (who I am also very close to) asked if she could choose one for Grandad too, which of course I was happy to.

She chose a song she thought he would want for me, and said she isn't expecting me to play it if makes me upset as she'll understand. Thing is, I really really want to have this song as it'll mean a lot to my Nan and the rest of my family, but I cannot get through it at the moment without getting really emotional. I want it but can't break down on my wedding day!

I don't even know what I'm posting for, just a vent I guess as I want to be able to get on with this song and recognise and remember him but hold it together.

user1476140278 Sun 16-Oct-16 07:31:13

flowers ask the DJ to play the song well after your first dance and to tell you the song which he will play directly before it. Then you can be pre warned and if you think you will be too upset, you can dissapear.

Or you can just sit with your Nan or get your DH to dance with her if you think she'd like that. x

Lovepancakes Sun 16-Oct-16 20:46:50

It sounds so special you were so close and I think your nan will appreciate how much you miss him too but it must be so hard.
I am sorry it is hard still and I don't think there's a right or wrong but think it's good you follow your instinct - it might be a lovely way to acknowledge your lovely grandfather of you felt that but also remember that he was who he is to you regardless and that you will think of him always regardless.

And wishing you so well on the day

Smartleatherbag Sun 16-Oct-16 20:50:21

Aw, that's lovely, and sad too. I'm not surprised you're emotional. Weddings are always emotional, we see who is there but also who isn't. You'd not be the first person to sob during the day. I hope you have a lovely wedding and I'm sure your grandfather will be with you in your hearts xx

Bearcats Thu 20-Oct-16 19:48:03

Thank you for your well wishes smile

I really appreciate the advice, thanks so much for taking the time toflowers

user1471495191 Thu 27-Oct-16 22:11:52

I had a similar situation. My dad requested a song which I knew would be quite emotional. I asked for that to be the first song played. My DH then stepped forward at the end of the song and we danced our first dance together. This way we had the special moment without pulling down the mood later in the night.

Tootsiepops Thu 27-Oct-16 22:16:36

It's ok to cry at your wedding, Bearcats. I cried for my younger brother at mine. People were lovely about it and very understanding. Don't feel you need to hold it together - you will be surrounded by people you love and who love you too. No one will judge flowers

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