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My lovely Dad

(30 Posts)
Queenofthesilverdollar Fri 23-Sep-16 23:56:22

I am sitting with my Dad and he is dying. He has dementia and probably won't make it through the night.

My Mums heart is broken. My DB, DSis and I will have lost our cornerstone, our hero and a friend.

Without fail people remember his integrity, gentleness and wisdom. He is a true English gentleman in the very best sense.

Please could you help me find quotes and poems - I cannot find the words

Mummylin Sat 24-Sep-16 00:06:07

I am so sorry to see your sad news. I hope your dad will have a very gentle passing and that you and your family find strength for the coming days.

bluebellsparklypants Sat 24-Sep-16 00:11:03

“It requires wisdom to understand wisdom: the music is nothing if the audience is deaf."

“Whatever is at the center of our life will be the source of our security, guidance, wisdom, and power

'The experience of losing a loved one impels us toward a deeper understanding of life. Everyone fears and is saddened by death. That is natural. But by struggling to overcome the pain and sadness that accompanies death, we become sharply aware of the dignity and preciousness of life and develop the compassion to share the sufferings of others as our own'

Lost my mother the same way. Then my dad to cancer.

Feel for you so very much, take heart in the family around you and give your DFs hand a big squeeze
flowers

Kit30 Sat 24-Sep-16 00:12:26

From a churchyard many years ago "This was a man"
Says it all really if you think about it.
Prayers

WatchMeSoar Sat 24-Sep-16 00:14:20

And if I should meet thee after long years
How should I greet thee
With silence and tears.

I am so sorry x

ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam Sat 24-Sep-16 00:23:13

"This was a man" reminds me of another simple but profound quote "you were loved"

GingerbreadLatteToGo Sat 24-Sep-16 00:52:58

💐 I'm so sorry to hear your sad news xx

I lost my Dad a few years ago, but it was unexpected & sudden. It's hard either way.

I'm not sure what you are looking for the words for, but a few things I like/help me are...(ps they sometimes get derided on here, but I don't care)

'Anyone can be a father.
It takes someone special to be a Dad.'

'Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning how to dance in the rain!'

'It's better to have loved & lost, than never to have loved at all'

Traditionally applied to romantic relationships, but I feel it applies as losing such an amazing Dad is really hard, but I'm glad I had an amazing Dad to miss so much. Hope that makes sense.

Look after yourself x💐

albertcampionscat Sat 24-Sep-16 08:27:42

Another romantic relationship one, but very lovely.

www.poetryfoundation.org/poems-and-poets/poems/detail/44131

Thank you for posting OP. All of us will be very lucky if when we die our children feel about us the way you feel about your dad.

Queenofthesilverdollar Sat 24-Sep-16 22:08:51

Thank you. He's still here and fighting for every breath

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark Sat 24-Sep-16 22:16:04

Thinking of you and your dad OP. Wishing him a serene passing.

flowers

Helenluvsrob Sat 24-Sep-16 22:19:49

Much hugs op. I was in your place on my 50th birthday in April. Dad considerately hung on till the next morning. Except we'd lost mumthe year before too, so really me and mine were all dad had.

Hold his hand, tell him he is loved and that it's OK to stop fighting now and move on to better things, and you'll be fine here ( whatever you believe or don't believe , fighting the miserableness of end strange dementia is better when it's over iykwim ).

My dad was a craftsman, a maker, a painter. After hours of searching I found the perfect verse for him. Maybe it'll mean something to you at this time:

Things men have made with wakened hands, and put soft life into
are awake through years with transferred touch, and go on glowing
for long years.
And for this reason, some old things are lovely
warm still with the life of forgotten men who made them.

D H Lawrence

My thoughts are with you at this time and if you need a hand holding at any time over the next day's and weeks pm me.

crispandcheesesanwichplease Sun 25-Sep-16 00:41:04

So sad and sorry for you OP. My best friend's mum died 2 days ago in similar circumstances. I can only say to keep holding his hand. Tell him you love him and why. Whatever his condition I'm sure he will find some comfort in you being with him. x

HemanOrSheRa Sun 25-Sep-16 00:56:48

I'm so very sorry Queen. I lost my dear Dad in January. Hold his hand, tell him you love him over and over. Kiss his lovely face and tell him what a wonderful man and father he is. Sending you love, strength and light flowers.

dovesong Sun 25-Sep-16 01:08:24

I am so sorry and am sending love. From Brian Patten's So Many Different Lengths Of Time:

A man lives for as long as we carry him inside us, 
for as long as we carry the harvest of his dreams, 
for as long as we ourselves live, 
holding memories in common, a man lives. 

His lover will carry his man's scent, his touch: 
his children will carry the weight of his love. 
One friend will carry his arguments, 
another will hum his favourite tunes, 
another will still share his terrors. 

And the days will pass with baffled faces, 
then the weeks, then the months, 
then there will be a day when no question is asked, 
and the knots of grief will loosen in the stomach 
and the puffed faces will calm. 
And on that day he will not have ceased 
but will have ceased to be separated by death. 

Queenofthesilverdollar Mon 26-Sep-16 18:20:34

He died at 4am this morning. May his soul fly free

Squeegle Mon 26-Sep-16 18:22:59

flowers

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I wish you all the strength in the world over the coming days and weeks.
This link has some helpful words, at least some of them helped me with my recent bereavement.
www.buzzfeed.com/augustafalletta/27-things-that-can-really-help-you-while-youre-grieving?utm_term=.kx7lMMLkY&sub=3790538_5836066#.xeq3220LQ
flowers

ButteredToastAndStrawberryJam Mon 26-Sep-16 18:53:52

Sorry for your loss.

amysmummy12345 Mon 26-Sep-16 18:58:58

flowers thinking of you and your lovely dad, xxx

TheBouquets Mon 26-Sep-16 22:09:44

So sorry to hear of the loss of your lovely dad. Indeed I hope his soul is flying free.

mymatemax Mon 26-Sep-16 23:07:37

So sorry for your loss. Together you will find the strength to help each other through the coming days, weeks, months. All the wonderful qualities he had, he would've instilled in you. It is his strength & character and all the lovely family memories that you have that will get you through it. Deep breaths, one day at a time x

HemanOrSheRa Tue 27-Sep-16 02:52:15

I'm so sorry Queen my lovely flowers.

Queenofthesilverdollar Sat 08-Oct-16 22:54:37

He's funeral is Tuesday and I have to speak. DS12 has written a beautiful poem. My Mum has been overwhelmed by the number of lovely messages. He would have been amazed. I don't want to say goodbye.

DustyMaiden Sat 08-Oct-16 22:58:18

So sorry for your loss. My DM died the same day as your DF. I'm just taking one day at a time.

Shosha1 Sat 08-Oct-16 23:01:33

My Dad also died on the 26th. Like you I stayed with him.
He also had dementia, and began to slip away.
His funeral is Monday. I don't know if I will get through reading.

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