My feed
Premium
Please
or
to access all these features

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

My brother took his own life today.

76 replies

DoctorBeat · 23/09/2016 01:56

Just don't know what to do with myself. Heard this news about 10pm. Now at my parents trying to sleep. A few very close friends and family members know. Have decided to tell the rest tomorrow. Feel so numb. Can't believe this is actually happening.

OP posts:
Report
sambababy · 23/09/2016 01:58

I'm so sorry to read this. What a horrific thing to happen. Do you have some RL support?

Flowers

Report
ProseccoBitch · 23/09/2016 01:59

I'm so sorry. I really don't know what to say, I don't have any siblings so can't imagine what you must be going through, just wanted to say that someone is here and awake and thinking of you.

Report
wobblywonderwoman · 23/09/2016 02:06

Flowers

No words can help I am sure but we are here

How distraught you must be xxx

Report
DoctorBeat · 23/09/2016 02:08

I have been around at my mum and dad's since the news. My poor dad found him. He hanged himself. He has a long history of drug abuse and mh issues. We have talked a lot. But it just doesn't seem real. They have gone to bed now. I just don't know how I am going to tell 5 year old dd. She loved him. She is with her dad tonight.

OP posts:
Report
DoctorBeat · 23/09/2016 02:10

Thanks so much everyone. Trying to sleep but it is not happening.

OP posts:
Report
Ilikegin · 23/09/2016 02:12

Sorry for your loss OP. I lost my brother although in different circumstances and remember the first night was horrendous, So know some of what you must be feeling right now. Just take each step as it comes. Flowers

Report
DoctorBeat · 23/09/2016 02:14

Thanks.

OP posts:
Report
GingerbreadLatteToGo · 23/09/2016 02:23

I'm so sorry 💐

Your poor Dad.

It's so sad when someone thinks it's the only answer.

It's going to be very, very hard telling DD, but I'd be honest if it was me. Partly because I don't think secrets, no matter how well intentioned, are a good idea, but also because what else do you tell her that's not a blatant lie or will worry her even more!? She might be very upset, but she might also be very 'Oh right, do you know where my X is?' There's no telling with kids.

I'll be thinking of you all
X

Report
SpareASquare · 23/09/2016 02:31

I'm so very sorry Flowers

Report
DoctorBeat · 23/09/2016 02:32

I know, dd will know the truth eventually anyway. My granny died of cancer when I was 5, I knew the truth, and knew it was coming. I will probably tell her tomorrow. That he died because he was poorly. And as she gets older and asks more, the exact circumstances.

OP posts:
Report
AnotherUsernameBitesTheDust · 23/09/2016 02:38

So sorry for your loss. I lost my brother to suicide 15 years ago, when he was 23. It was devastating and unexpected. I felt a whole range of emotions including anger at him during the initial grieving period, I don't think that's unusual.

Report
DoctorBeat · 23/09/2016 02:50

Thanks. It was a massive shock, but not a great surprise. His life was horrid. I hope he is at peace.

OP posts:
Report
SmallBee · 23/09/2016 03:11

I'm really sorry for your loss. Do you want to talk about him and let us know a bit about who he was as a person?
I hope your DDs Dad can be supportive for you. Have you got anyone just for you to be a shoulder to cry on?

Report
SmallBee · 23/09/2016 03:14

I have had a quick Google and found this charity to support you when you feel ready to reach out uk-sobs.org.uk/ Flowers

Report
champersandgin · 23/09/2016 03:46

I'm so sorry for your loss and that your family are going through this. My thoughts are with you. Xx

Report
KoalaDownUnder · 23/09/2016 03:59

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Your poor dad, that is breathtakingly awful.

SadFlowers

Report
Simmi1 · 23/09/2016 04:03

So sorry doctorbeatFlowers

Wishing you strength during this difficult time.

Report
seven201 · 23/09/2016 04:05

Flowers how devastating. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Report
Jenijena · 23/09/2016 04:06

I'm so very sorry. I hope he is at peace too

Report
StillTryingHard · 23/09/2016 04:15

Flowerssending you thoughts - hope you are getting though he might okay

Report
StillTryingHard · 23/09/2016 04:17

...getting through the night okay Flowers

Report
YouCanDoThis · 23/09/2016 04:25

I am very sorry for your loss Doctor, what an awful shock for all of you. You might find phoning the Samaritans helpful at some point. They are there to help you through your emotions around losing someone to suicide too and a good outlet for things you don't feel able to discuss with others. I imagine you are in a position of wanting to protect your parents and your daughter but do seek support for yourself too.

Report
YabuDabbaDoo · 23/09/2016 05:38

Hello Doctor, I lost my partner to suicide in August so am a bit further down the road than you. It is such a peculiar kind of bereavement, like none I've experienced before. You will be in shock just now so take gentle care of yourself but do PM me if you need any encouragement or advice. I am sorry you've lost your brother.

Report
KoalaDownUnder · 23/09/2016 07:16

Yabu, so sorry for your loss as well. Flowers

Report
DoctorBeat · 23/09/2016 07:57

Thank you all. Had very little sleep, maybe a couple of hours.

OP posts:
Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.