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Call to speak to Mum but she had died while away for the weekend

(20 Posts)
justkeepongoing Wed 14-Sep-16 20:16:28

Feeling utterly bereft. Called my DM on Monday morning after a family weekend away in Germany, only to be told by her husband that she had passed away that morning. She had been unwell in the past couple of weeks but I didn't expect this. My sister brother and I are devastated and as the eldest I'm organising her funeral.
She is having a post mortem tomorrow so we should find out the cause. Our respective partners have been wonderful but I feel all alone. My brother went to the house and stayed with her until the police and paramedics attended so he's had it hard.
The crying comes in waves and I can't sleep.

OddBoots Wed 14-Sep-16 20:20:29

Oh you must have been so shocked, I am sure you still are. I am so sorry for your loss. How you are feeling sounds perfectly normal but I know that is very little comfort right now.

SingaSong12 Wed 14-Sep-16 20:23:53

So sorry this happened to you. flowers

Lilybensmum1 Wed 14-Sep-16 20:28:34

just I'm so sorry to hear about your dm there is not much I can say but when my dh's dm died suddenly 2 years ago this is these are feelings we allwent through, I think it was for us part disbelief and denial. It's really early days it's good you have your siblings around.

Take it easy and try to go with whatever you feel.

mrschatty Wed 14-Sep-16 20:32:25

I'm so sorry to hear this flowers you've had such a shock

justkeepongoing Wed 14-Sep-16 20:41:59

Thank you for all your kind words. She fell ill in the early hours of Monday morning, went into the bathroom, said she felt like she was dying, lay on the sofa and passed away. Her DH knew the signs from his first DW and left her there until morning. He was in shock. At least she was at home. I know that when I go to bed tonight I won't be able to sleep and I'll want to leave the light on as I will be scared like a little child.

Squeegle Wed 14-Sep-16 20:45:38

Oh dear, I am so sorry flowers
Yes, she was at home. That must have meant a lot to her

RakeMeHomeCountryToads Wed 14-Sep-16 20:48:01

I'm so sorry to hear this flowers You must be in shock. It's good that she was at home.

SpringBail Wed 14-Sep-16 20:49:27

I'm so sorry for your loss flowers

ImperialBlether Wed 14-Sep-16 20:50:27

What an awful shock for you. I'm sure she would have wanted to die at home, but for you all to have no warning is really terrible. Make sure you don't take on all the funeral jobs - it's exhausting and upsetting. Being the oldest doesn't mean much if you're all adults - everyone can help.

SwearyInn Wed 14-Sep-16 20:51:12

I lost my mum suddenly (household accident). I spoke to her on the Sunday evening, and then got a 6am call from my Dad the next day to say she was dying (she died that afternoon though fortunately we could all get there.

The lonliness is overwhelming. I cried myself to sleep every night for about 3 months. You have to take things day by day.

It does get better, but it takes a lot of time. And pretty much every reaction you get is normal.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please be very very gentle with yourself. flowers

(Sorry I'm not good with saying the right thing so I hope this sound ok)

ggirl Wed 14-Sep-16 20:52:50

So sorry , what a shock for you all . Did your mother's husband lose his last wife the same way?

justkeepongoing Wed 14-Sep-16 20:57:00

Sweary your kind advice sounds perfect.
ggirl his first DW had auto immune difficulties and was younger, an ambulance was called, she got to hospital but died soon after. He felt that the breathing at the end was similar.

Simmi1 Thu 15-Sep-16 11:51:41

How awful OP - so sorry flowers

I agree that as you are all adults you siblings should all organise the funeral rather it all falling to you

SoftBlocks Thu 15-Sep-16 11:53:43

So sorry this has happened. flowers

Duckafuck Thu 15-Sep-16 11:58:14

justkeepongoing What a terrible shock for you all, I'm so so sorry. flowers

justkeepongoing Thu 15-Sep-16 12:17:29

My sister and brother have been amazing and we're all working together, I'm just the one who makes the calls. Thank you for all your kindness. I didn't really sleep last night. Should be back at work on Monday but not sure that I can face it. Funeral is not until a week next Wednesday. So much to organise.

ohfourfoxache Thu 15-Sep-16 19:52:34

I'm so sorry thanks

Dinah85 Thu 29-Sep-16 22:26:34

How are you doing justkeep? Been thinking of you and your family

justkeepongoing Sun 02-Oct-16 02:23:58

Dinah thank you your kind thoughts. I'm not brilliant really, can't sleep at night (started a new thread tonight!) but I'm back at work on Monday. Mum brought us up as a single parent in the seventies which was quite something and she has always been there for us. Just feel sad/angry but also need to get on with life. DH is away for a few days so this is probably making me worse.

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