My loving, kind, funny dad died yesterday.
He was ill and in hospital for 3 weeks nearly 4, with a fungal infection in his lungs. He had a tracheostomy wich developed a leak, and they were changing the tubes, but his heart couldn't take it.
I'm numb at the moment, I dont know what to do. I'm with my mum who is barely holding it together. Not that she should have to.
I started a new job yesterday but needed to leave to come back home. So i don't know if theyre going to let me go.
He was getting better, getting back to his old self. He was only 69.
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Bereavement
My dad died.
11 replies
Thisismyalias · 12/07/2016 11:47
OP posts:
bedouincheek ·
12/07/2016 23:53
This I am so sorry for your loss. I am six months on from where you are, and you will be ok. Be kind to yourself and do as much or as little as you need to to get on. Don't worry if you think about him a lot, or feel guilty (it's amazing how your brain manages that one).
I cooked and cared for everyone, laughed, cried, then drank too much and fell to bits, now getting fit and healthy (big change to lifestyle). Others have been eating / running / having dramas / and generally coming out the other side.
There are stages to grief, which everyone will experience differently. Be aware if others are relying on you too much, that you also need to hurt and heal. I found the diagram attached pretty spot on really.
That is all six months worth, but for now have a cuppa and use a towel as a hanky
. If you cry in the middle of the super market, it's ok. Cry it out, or leave your trolley and sit in the car, go back in / go home. Again it's all ok and you can do exactly what you want to get through it.
Again sending huge hugs.
ImperialBlether ·
12/07/2016 23:55
to all of you. I lost my dad this year so I know how you feel.
salsamad ·
13/07/2016 00:17
My heartfelt sympathy and to all of you. Bereavement is an individual process for everyone who suffers loss and people cope with loss in different ways - just try to remember there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Some people cope ok through the actual aftermath of a loved one dying and the organising of the funeral but then when everything is calmer the actual loss and grief hit them harder. If you need to talk about it then share how you are feeling (share with friends if you feel other family members are too upset) and if you get upset don't worry about it, no one is judging you.
I lost my beloved Dad in August 2007 as he struggled to recuperate following an operation for bowel cancer and also sadly lost my darling Mum in June 2009 from Vascular Dementia. They had been married over 50 years and I loved them both so very much. I still get upset at times and feel bereft but as time has passed I find it easier and its lovely to remember them now with family members and to smile and laugh at memories we have.
Thisismyalias ·
13/07/2016 14:27
for everyone, im sorry you're going through this too.
The coroner won't issue a death certificate because after an autopsy, she can't see a cause of death. So it wasn't his heart. We don't know why he died. So many unanswered questions.
I just feel lost right now 
OP posts:
echt ·
14/07/2016 08:28
This so sad.
I feel for you, This, as my own DH's sudden death as near as a toucher came to coroner's, but it the medics felt pretty confident at the end.
There's quite enough being in limbo about the death of loved ones, without this.
for you.
Thisismyalias ·
15/07/2016 11:18
Thank you echt and im sorry for your loss
I'm just trying to put one foot in front of the other.
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