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Did anyone make a big life change after a loss?

(9 Posts)
user1467739772 Thu 07-Jul-16 00:40:13

Just that really. Before my mum died I was determined to buy my own flat. I thought to myself I wanted this year to be completely different if it was going to be the year my mum died. Well, I'm close to exchange and since my offer got accepted I've been plagued with doubts and feeling extremely anxious about the whole thing. I've actually started to think that I want the rest of my life to stay stable now that she's passed away.

Anyway has anyone made a huge life change after someone they loved died? How did it turn out?

TrollTheRespawnJeremy Thu 07-Jul-16 18:55:56

I quit my job after my beloved GMIL passed away. She was a very inspirational woman and always said that I was destined for better things. I am now at Uni and I am having so much fun studying.

Best thing that I ever did. Risky. And sometimes stressful. But my life is 100x better than it was.

scurryfunge Thu 07-Jul-16 19:01:08

Thirty years ago my beloved step father died. I loved him dearly and made my mind up to seize the moment. I bought a house the year after and got married. I accelerated my life plans because I knew he would have approved. I still think of him and want approval.

VulcanWoman Thu 07-Jul-16 19:05:38

No, but my way of thinking about things changed, made me realise what the most important things in life are. A positive to come out of a death.

branofthemist Thu 07-Jul-16 19:05:53

Afters dhs GM died I went freelance. She always told me I should.

My grandfather died this week. So far the only thing I changed, so far, is my hair.

scurryfunge Thu 07-Jul-16 19:14:16

Bran, sorry you are experiencing loss. It's strange isn't it? How do we make sense of stuff like this and move on? Nothing is normal.

branofthemist Fri 08-Jul-16 06:26:31

Thank scurry

I am not really making sense of anything at the moment. This week has been the longest week. He had a stroke and took 2 days to die and everything has been a blur since.

Everything seems almost unreal, I keep struggling to even know what day it is.

At the moment people's kindness has got me through. I have been really touched by the support.

MummyBex1985 Sat 09-Jul-16 13:21:59

My GP advised me not to make any big life decisions in the months after my DM died.

I'm glad I didn't. I was going to quit my job. In the end I didn't, I went back to work, and it's been better than ever.

inlectorecumbit Sat 09-Jul-16 16:41:10

My DM died late last year and l suddenly realised that l had been rushing through life not really taking time to enjoy it. I had spent a great deal of the last 16 years being a carer to both DM and DF as well as looking after my own family and full time job.
Now they are both dead (l would gladly exchange my free time to have them both back with me) l have time to do what l want to do. I have made a bucket list and making my way through it. I am reducing my work hours to 16 to do more at home, l forgot l loved cooking and knitting, l have joined a gym and finally really really getting to know DD2. I am ashamed to say she took a bit of a back seat for the last 5 years.
I am realising who and what are important and that life is too short, this is it, there is no replay so l am going to make the best of it.

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