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What to say to friend?

(4 Posts)
Thistledew Fri 01-Jul-16 11:32:00

My dear friend's dad has suffered from vascular dementia for some years now. A recent attempt to get him into a home for a short while for some respite care for her mum unfortunately went badly: he broke his hip, and both his mental and physical state has declined. It is now not likely that he will come back home.

I'm trying to send her a message (we live a long distance apart and I can't go and visit her at the moment), but struggling to find the right words. I want to acknowledge that things are not really going to get better, but also to say something positive.

Is something like this appropriate?

"So sorry to hear the latest news about your dad. I wish I could hope for a happy outcome for all of you, but maybe I can wish for a comfortable one instead?"

Geevis Fri 01-Jul-16 19:11:38

So sorry to hear your friends news, it's a really difficult situation.

I would suggest just keeping it simple and telling her that you're there for her if she needs to talk and that your thinking of her and sending lots of love to her and the family.

In situations like this I think that's all people want to hear. Nobody really knows what will happen but just to know you've got support whatever the outcome is the most important thing.

Timetogetup0630 Fri 08-Jul-16 23:37:16

Yes, that sounds perfect to me !

HerrenaHarridan Fri 08-Jul-16 23:52:30

There are no words but somehow you have to say then anyway.

I probably wouldn't include your second sentence tbh but I don't think it's wrong as such.

If you want to say something like that maybe 'I hope he is as comfortable as possible and you are finding time to be kind to yourself.
If you want to talk at any point I'm only a phone call away'

Then I would maybe order her something nice to be delivered like a super soft blanket, a good book (with short stories for when it's hard to converse), a puzzle book or a nice nail laquer.

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