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baby ashes scandal

(5 Posts)
Anaffaquine123 Tue 28-Jun-16 12:28:10

Back in 2010, I had to give birth to my little boy, fully aware that he had already died. He had so many birth defects that he never stood a chance.
After he was born we were given him in a tiny wicker Moses basket and a teddy. One of the hardest moments of my life was leaving that hospital, passing other pregnant mums and new families, without my much longed for boy.
The midwives were incredible and helped us plan a funeral. He was cremated in a private ceremony. It was comforting but also incredibly sad.
I will never forget my dear old gran placing a hand on that tiny white coffin. She had lost a baby at birth 50 years previous to this and I just knew she was thinking about both these darling children.
We have a memory box with hand and foot prints, photos, his blanket and teddy upstairs. I take it down and just look through it from time to time.
Perhaps legally as he was born at 22 weeks he wasn't classed as being stillborn, rather a late miscarriage but to us, he was our boy, our first born. When our daughters were born later, I was transfixed by how much they resembled their brother.
Then we read in the papers, years later that there possibly we're ashes. We were told there definitely wouldn't be as it takes about 3 years to be enough carbon in bones to create ashes.
I presumed if we were involved in the scandal, where babies were cremated alongside random adults and the ashes mixed together, we would be informed. I tried to put the thought out of my head.
Now it seems that this was just what happened in all infant cremations. We will never be able to find out of there were ashes and, if so, who was he cremated with.
I will never ever know for sure what happened to my gorgeous boy. It makes me angry but even more, my overwhelming feeling is sadness.

Sleepingbunnies Wed 29-Jun-16 00:11:15

So sorry for your loss flowers

Sophia1984 Thu 30-Jun-16 20:31:50

I'm so sorry for your loss - I can't begin to imagine how hard this is for you, especially when you had made your peace with what you thought had happened to your baby and now that has been thrown up in the air. Do you know what the hospital does with the ashes from cremations? Maybe they are scattered in a hospital garden you could visit?

Ifailed Sat 02-Jul-16 12:58:43

How awful. Could you contact the hospital to see if the cremation was carried out at a local crematorium? If so, they usually scatter uncollected ashes in a particular place, with dignity. Hopefully then you know where your little boy's remains lie.

mogloveseggs Sat 02-Jul-16 13:00:12

flowers. Im so sorry.

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