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Dealing with death down the line

(4 Posts)
FiveGoMadInDorset Sun 19-Jun-16 21:25:30

my Dad died in December, we weren't big on Fathers Day but today I was grateful that it was DS's birthday so we had distractions and very grateful for his friends and families who came up to distract us.

My point is that whenever I speak to people they always ask how my mothers is, never me or my sister and it is starting to affect me quite badly, and I don't know how to deal with this or should I say something. FWIW my fMily situation is very complicated in the fact that my father was married before and has children from that marriage who I get on with really well but they don't speak to my mother, and there are more complications which sadly I can't put in thrum, but my sister and I try to temper her attitude and I can see where're she is coming from as she is frightened about what is going to happen to her, but I don't want her non existent relationship with win.ings effect mine,

And I have banged on.

Amy way original question how do those who have
It's parents deal with the fact that non one seems to be interested in how you feel only the bereaved spouse

Potentialmadcatlady Mon 20-Jun-16 19:38:58

I so know how you feel...I always get asked how my Dad is and never me and the funny thing is he's doing really well and I'm not...No idea how to deal with it but just wanted you to know I fully understand what you mean...Its been under two months for me and my friends all expect me to be getting brighter instead I'm getting worse..

Rainshowers Mon 20-Jun-16 20:42:46

I understand. People always ask me how my mum is, when sometimes I wish they'd just ask how I am. But when I mentioned it to my mum (in a chatty way, not a moaning way), she said everyone tends to ask her how me and my brother are. I guess maybe people think you'll find it easier to talk about someone else than explain how you're feeling.

When friends do ask how I am I generally just brush it off with an 'I'm fine' so actually I don't blame them for not asking!

dirtyprettything Tue 21-Jun-16 11:11:36

Everyone asks how my mum is since my brother died, never me- I feel your pain.
I think it's sometimes easier for them to ask that then pointedly ask me how I am coping - but I do think siblings/children get lost a little

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