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Bereavement

Dbs birthday

4 replies

Perpetualstateofchaos · 18/06/2016 23:13

My dbs was killed 6 and a half years ago and it's his birthday in a little over a week. I found out today that my parents are thinking of doing a bbq to commentate it which I fully understand. We usually all meet up and have a few drinks. I don't know why but I'm finding the build up to his birthday this year really hard. It's not a big one so I'm worrying how I'm going to react next year when it is.
Sorry if I rambled I just needed to get it out.

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MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 18/06/2016 23:35

No need to apologise for rambling

Have some - not necessarily in that order

My DB died 17 years ago...grief is a strange thing, sometimes I can sail through birthdays and Christmas and things and other times (usually when I least expect it - triggered from a news report or a song or childhood memory or something random) it grips me and absolutely takes my breath away.

You will get through it x

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Perpetualstateofchaos · 20/06/2016 08:01

Thank you. It is strange the range of emotions I still go through. He is never far from my thoughts unfortunately some of the images arent the best. I know what you mean about it suddenly hitting you I was fine christmas, new year and the anniversary last year. It's just hit me for his birthday.

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LuckyBitches · 20/06/2016 11:14

My DB died a couple of years ago - his birthday is very close to the anniversary of his death, so it's always an emotional time. I always write him a letter and in a way it feels like we're in touch. Then I do something nice for myself as I know he would have wanted that. I find my birthdays harder though, as I get nothing from him - just silence. That's when I really know he's gone. (not that in life he was any good at remembering my birthday!).

You can't predict how and when grief will hit you, in my experience. You just have to let what happens, happen.

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Perpetualstateofchaos · 20/06/2016 12:32

Lucky I find that too my birthdays near christmas so I usually just got the one present the from him. I always had to remind him of people's birthdays anniversaries etc. DB still had the last birthday card I sent him that in ostelf means so much but hurts that he can never open another one from me.