She is 11. We knew it was nearly time so MIL, SIL, my DD and I were there (with our dog who he loved to bits) and he chose that time to let go. He was 97.
DD is understandably upset but I'm wandering if her being there with him will have any potential repercussions that I need to be on the lookout for.
I might well be over thinking this of course and need to relax.
We've told her how comforting it hopefully was for GGdad to be surrounded by so many people who loved him and how extra special that the last face he saw was hers.
Although he was DH's grandad I loved him and cared for him as my own and I found it a really peaceful death; he'd chosen the time (he had stopped eating and drinking), it was on his terms.
Am I worrying needlessly do you think?
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Bereavement
DD was holding her great grandad's hand as he passed.
mckenzie · 30/05/2016 17:56
My mum passed away peacefully earlier this year with dad holding her hand, her head in my hands and the rest of the family all around her. I think of it as the last final gift she gave us and that gives me great comfort. Maybe thinking of it as a precious gift could help your daughter? Oh, and talk talk talk. You cannot talk enough about it 
And deepest sympathies to you mckenzie. Sometimes it is hard being the adult, isn't it? Take care of yourself
Ruby has phrased it beautifully. Sympathies to everyone who has been bereaved lately
I think your DD has witnessed a remarkable thing. Not every death is a tragic end - she's been present for a beautiful death and crucially she has helped! Her DGGD will have had so much love and peace in his heart and I think she has done a truly amazing thing for him. I bet so many others wish they could have done the same for a loved one. Just keep an eye out for her emotions in the next fortnight, tell her how amazing she has been! Sorry for your loss .
My DB was with our GM when she died. I was at work - three weeks into my first graduate job and had moved away from home. He'd have been a teenager rather than 11; I think he was a bit shaken and subdued that evening, but absolutely fine the day after and, I think, quietly proud he'd been there. Her death had been expected for a while - no illness, just old age in her 90s, body gradually getting weaker and giving up, sleeping more and more and then just stopping breathing. So nothing traumatic. I think the shock for my brother was the realisation that this is natural; hard for a teenage boy who thinks he's immortal to come to terms with.
For DB, I think the pride and acceptance came fairly quickly as he was the one there - I had always been the dutiful one, visiting her in the home most days after school, phoning from university, coming back for weekends to take her out for trips, etc. It gave him great quiet pleasure that he'd been able to do something mature, responsible for her.
(No, I don't feel that I should have been there - I did what I could when I could, it so happened that it was DB's turn to be there for her, and TBH, I'd probably not have been the best person at that time, DB is a lot calmer and less emotional than I am! Maybe your DD was the best person for the job too, and her GGF felt this?)
Maybe, if appropriate, you could ask her if there's any way she'd like to remember him? Or have some input into the funeral in some suitable way - choosing the flowers, for example? I was a similar age when my GF died and was encouraged to choose flowers - it was helpful talking to my parents about which flowers, which colours I was choosing and why I thought GF would like them. Lots of stories that evening.
to both you and your DD.
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