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Bereavement

I need him back

14 replies

lyssie29 · 15/05/2016 20:17

My partner passed away 4 weeks ago today. It was a brain haemorrhage. I can't function without him. We had 2 kids and it's all I can do to get through the days without him. I miss him so much. I think about him 24/7. About the plans we had together, how happy we were but also the morning he collapsed. I can't get it out of my head seeing him like that with our daughter next to him crying. I just need him to be here. I don't understand why it's happened. He was a good man and he was happy and healthy. What do I do now? The longer it gets the more painful it feels I just want to hear his voice again. I just feel empty and just want to cry all the time.

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ScottishProf · 15/05/2016 20:26

I am so sorry for your loss. How you're feeling is entirely natural. Eventually it will become easier. For now, look at the little things. Sleep, eat, cuddle your children. Cry when you need to, feel how you feel. One day you'll be able to feel what a wonderful thing it was to have someone you loved that much, even if you were to lose him.

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needanewjob · 15/05/2016 20:31

Hi lyssie I remember reading your initial post. I'm so sorry you are struggling. Do you have a good counsellor? Ours has been invaluable. Please do reach out to the professionals for support. I really recommend contacting Grief Encounter for your children the support box and activities have proved very useful for my son.

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YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 15/05/2016 20:57

So sorry Flowers

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HumphreyCobblers · 15/05/2016 21:00

I am so sorry Flowers

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FarrowandBallAche · 15/05/2016 21:11

I'm so sorry Lyssie. Such a sad time for you.

4 weeks is nothing. The shock is wearing off and the reality is terrifying. It's one hour at at a time and take as much help that is offered.

Flowers

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LuckyBitches · 16/05/2016 09:59

I'm sorry too, Lyssie

FlowersFlowersFlowers

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WhyBird2k · 16/05/2016 10:11

I'm so so sorry. I haven't lost a partner but I have lost a parent recently. There's no correct way to feel when you are grieving, your partner will always be with you. Flowers

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lyssie29 · 16/05/2016 21:34

Thanks for the support. Today has been at better day. My daughter told me yesterday that she really really misses him and asked when was he coming home and I just couldn't stop crying. It's kind of like I've been in a nightmare and it doesn't seem real. I've joined WAY just waiting for the letter so hopefully that will help. I don't have a councillor but I think wait a bit and see how I feel and make an appointment. I've never been one to ask for help i just feel embarrassed especially with strangers I just feel awkward if that makes any sense.

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Lovemylittlebears · 16/05/2016 21:36

So very sorry. Hold your children and cuddle them as much as possible. Thinking about you x

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timelytess · 16/05/2016 21:37
Flowers
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CrikeyPeg · 16/05/2016 21:39
Flowers
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confuseddotcom82 · 16/05/2016 21:42

No useful words I'm afraid, it's true what they say though time is a healer, the raw grief eventually fades well it did when I lost my Mum, don't expect to feel better quickly or put yourself under pressure about when you will start to feel better and the fog lifting. Thinking of you X

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MetallicBeige · 16/05/2016 21:45

I am so so sorry your lovely dh has died, life can be so bloody unfair and shitty. Please don't feel embarassed about asking for/accepting help. Let people support you and help you. You are going through such an awful shock.
Take each day in small chunks, remember to eat and drink, and try to get some fresh air every day. See your GP if you can.
Please don't put any pressure on yourself to feel 'back to normal'. There is no normal, take each day as it comes. I'm sorry you are on this awful road, I hope you find strength in the friendship on here. Flowers

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Inaminutenow · 16/05/2016 21:49

So sorry! Look after yourself.
WAY is excellent - they do have a closed Facebook group, too, where you can get lots of support from people who have experienced similar. Winston's Wish is meant to be good for support for children. X

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