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Dreaming of those you have lost.

(14 Posts)
CharleyDavidson Tue 19-Apr-16 23:06:26

I lost my Dad last year. It's still early days I suppose. He was very ill when he passed away (cancer) and it was a terrible time.

I've had three dreams about him since then. In each one, he's looked less and less ill.

This morning (after I put the alarm on to snooze!) I had a lovely dream. We had celebrated Christmas, knowing that Dad was no longer with us, then packed everything away. Then he walked in through my front door bringing a huge Christmas tree with him. He looked so healthy and well. The dream was a little like a sci-fi story. We knew he was gone and that it was like a loop in time where he thought he'd been away somewhere helping someone out, but was popping back for a while.

He gave me the biggest hug as I sat on his knee (which I've obviously not done for about 25 years as I'm in my 40s!) and I had to try not to cry in the dream as I knew he shouldn't be there and I couldn't let him know.

Then we asked him how long he was staying, adding 'a while?' when we realised it sounded like we might be trying to get rid of him. smile

He answered 'About a week.' Then went upstairs. I remember looking at my Mum in the dream and asking "What to we do? He clearly doesn't know!'

Then the alarm went off, I woke up, smiled, then cried.

Weirdly, instead of remembering him on his death bed, I now have an image in my head of how he was, not just before he got poorly, but when he was about my age and I was a teenager. It's like a little gift from my subconscious, I'm not at all woo.

MattDillonsPants Wed 20-Apr-16 03:49:05

Ah....how lovely! I lost my Dad when I was in my 20s and though I've hoped for a dream like this, I haven't had one about him.

I HAVE however had them about other relatives and they're so affecting...they feel real don't they? I often think that they in fact ARE a bit real and that people's spirits can just sneak into your subconscious while you dream.

My most realistic and affecting one was a few years ago. I'd achieved a very big "thing" professionally...basically been commissioned by the BBC. It was HUGE to me...a real breakthrough.

I come from a very working class family, none had gone to Uni and my Irish relatives on my Dad's side were illiterate. Very loving, very beautiful family though.

Anyway...the night after I'd got the commission, I had a very vivid dream in which my Grandmother's sisters (long dead) all came to the front door at my Mum and Dad's house...I didn't even live there anymore...but this would be where they'd know to find me....

they all stood on the lawn...in a crowd and behind them were masses more women and I KNEW they were long gone relatives from my Grandmother's side...it was my paternal Gran's side but oddly she wasn't there...they had a couple of old fashioned prams with them and they were mostly dressed as they would have been in their youth...1930s and 40s style.

They all stood there just smiling and nodding at me.

When I woke up I felt so happy. It was as though they'd all come to congratulate me. Maybe my Nan sent them...we were extremely close.

AcrossthePond55 Wed 20-Apr-16 04:34:22

I think that's so lovely. My DH often dreams of his mother. Most of the dreams make no real sense, but her presence in comforting to him.

I wish I dreamt of my late dad, but I never have.

Babyface4444 Tue 26-Apr-16 05:32:00

They are never really gonesad if we love them we should talk about them when we remember the good times we had. To some death is the end. To others it can be a new start x

heron98 Tue 26-Apr-16 16:17:03

I love dreaming about my DP who was killed 2 years ago in an accident. In the dreams he is so vivid and real in a way I just can't recall in waking life.

Fayrazzled Tue 26-Apr-16 16:22:51

My mum died 2 years ago. I have never dreamed of her, but I'd love to.

MissTriggs Wed 27-Apr-16 21:50:00

What a beautiful thread thanks

MakeItRain Sun 01-May-16 00:12:35

When my dad died I was always hoping to dream of him. About 6 weeks after he died I did. He was in hospital in the dream but not nearly as poorly as he was at the end of his life. In the dream I was hugging him and crying and crying. I told him I'd been waiting so long to dream about him! I rarely dream of him now, and if I do he's very distant, such as at the back of a crowded room.

Your dream sounds lovely flowers

MummyBex1985 Sun 01-May-16 12:07:30

I lost my DM at Christmas. Very sudden and unexpected. I haven't dreamed about her yet.

However, a couple of weeks ago I was feeling a bit meh and went to bed in the afternoon for a nap. Nobody else in the house.

As I lay down I got the most vivid smell of my mums washing powder, perfume and a twinge of cigarettes. I don't have the same washing powder, or perfume, and we don't smoke! No idea where that came from but it was definitely there for about five minutes. Very strange.

chipmonkey Tue 03-May-16 00:54:52

I hardly ever dream about my dd although I'd love to. She has been gone four years. Dh, who only died 3 weeks ago has appeared several times. Each time I see him he looks younger and happier. Last night he looked 20 and so happy. I hope it is him.

Caffeinator Mon 23-May-16 13:39:20

My cousin said that he hates dreaming of my brother because of the realisation when he wakes that it's not real, but I don't experience it like that at all. I just find comfort in it. It's so so lovely to hear and see my brother again and often we hug in my dreams as well, which we hadn't done since we were children so that feels nice as well.

motheroreily Mon 23-May-16 13:46:10

My mum died about 18 months ago. I dream about her every couple of weeks. In my dreams I often think but mum's died how can she be here? I often wake up crying but I hope to be able to enjoy my dreams more in the future.

sooperdooper Mon 23-May-16 13:49:57

My mum died almost a year ago, I've dreamed about her about once a month or so, I find it comforting smile last time we were chatting about knitting and drinking tea, I always dream about her in really every day circumstances

sherbetpips Mon 23-May-16 20:55:15

Had a fab dream the other night, I could feel myself really hugging dad, not skinny cancer dad but lovely cuddly dad. Couldn't let go.

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