(Sorry poorly written essay) My dm died over a year ago now she was a palliative care specialist nurse, when in hospital in ICU I basically exaggerated something she said to me about her fears/ opinions regarding shortness of breath in end of life care. Due to what I said they increased her fentanyl prior to extubating her. After the tube was removed she didn't try to breath at all. On one level I feel this was a good outcome she was able to be an organ donor, with the organs removed in as good nick as they could be from a non beating heart donor however I also feel completely consumed by guilt that my lie may have changed the treatment she was given. Is this the sort of thing people should discuss with therapists. I really want to talk about this in real life but I'm worried anyone would judge me.
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