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My dad has died

(6 Posts)
AvonCallingBarksdale Wed 23-Mar-16 19:12:29

My dad died a few weeks ago and we've had the funeral. He was 83 and had not been in the best of health for a while, but had recovered each time he'd been ill. He went into hospital early February and I think I knew then that he wouldn't be coming home again. He rallied a couple of times, but then just got to the point where his body was worn out. We spent the last day with him and it was pain free. I am so terribly sad now. I am tormented by "where" he is and whether he was frightened before he died, the thought of which I just can't bear. He had a good life, but I felt like a tantrumming child the day he died and just wanted to scream, "Don't let him die". People have been lovely. I can't imagine feeling joy at anything at the moment, I'm just going through the motions and I'm overwhelmed by all the things he'll miss, especially to do with DD and DS, who were both very close to him. Rationally I know that he was elderly and poorly, but I cannot stop crying, or I just feel very numb. Someone said they didn't find it got better with time, as all they could think was, "now it's X months since I've been able to talk to him" and that's how I'm feeling at the moment.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark Wed 23-Mar-16 19:17:39

Oh bless you. flowers

No wise words, just be kind to yourself.

You were with him when he died, and that would have surely comforted him,

You were there when it mattered. xx

AvonCallingBarksdale Wed 23-Mar-16 19:20:22

Thank you. I know and I'm so pleased I was there. Me and my mum talked to him all day. I'm not religous and I wonder if I was whether I would feel more comforted, thinking that he'd gone somewhere if that makes sense. They kept saying that hearing is the last sense to go. I don't know if that's true, but I hope he could hear us. I need to find a way to be OK and I'm not finding it at the moment.

sonlypuppyfat Wed 23-Mar-16 19:21:27

It will get easier with time. It is awful my poor dad died really young he just collapsed and died one night it was awful. At least you got to say goodbye which is a blessing

VelvetCushion Wed 23-Mar-16 19:24:02

Im so sorry thanks

AvonCallingBarksdale Wed 23-Mar-16 20:26:21

Thanks. It is awful. I know I'm self-medicating at the moment, which I need to keep an eye on. I feel OK but for the 100s of times each day when I suddenly remember he's gone!

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