My mum died last week, she had an emergency operation and just didn't recover. Today is the first day that I haven't cried and instead I just feel numb. I will miss her so much. She was 75, so not young, but I wasn't prepared for the sudden nature of her dying in this way. My mum was lovely, funny, and could be very childlike. She had a truly terrible childhood that she never fully recovered from, but as I have grown older, I have been able to accept that some part of her never really grew, and we had a good relationship.
So I am currently off work. At the start of the year, I had asked that my hours be reduced, specifically to spend more time with my mum, as I knew her health was poor. A colleague spoke to my manager, disagreeing with my suggestions over how to manage this, and my request was refused. I am now so angry with both of them and I think it's clouding my judgement. At the moment I do not want to go back but financially I have to.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to manage my feelings and not let how angry I feel overwhelm this time of grieving for my mum. I'm swinging between tearful and feeling so angry because they knew she was frail, but on a rational level they could not have known this would happen. I just feel so sad that I didn't get to spend more time with my mum.
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Bereavement
Mum died last week
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lastone · 10/03/2016 20:33
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