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What should we send to our friend that is grieving?

(7 Posts)
stumblymonkey Sat 30-Jan-16 10:40:31


I have a friend in her 50's who has just lost her son in his 20's after a long ongoing battle with a rare disease.

Along with another friend I would like to send something so that she knows we are here for her...we are giving her some space to be with close friends and family at the moment.

We were thinking flowers/card but maybe also a 'self-care package'?

As background we all met in a private psychiatric hospital (The Priory) when suffering from bipolar/depression/PTSD and so the idea of a self-care package comes from that.

What sort of things would be appropriate?

I was thinking of a note with it to remind her to take care of her self at this difficult time and perhaps including a scented candle, chocolate...what else?

Any help would be greatly appreciated as I don't want to miss the mark...

Iguessyourestuckwithme Sat 30-Jan-16 10:44:06

I wouldn't send flowers as they will also die and they are a hassle to deal with when grieving

TheGreatSnafu Sat 30-Jan-16 15:42:39

That's lovely OP

It depends on the person and I wouldn't worry too much about being off the mark - a care package sounds lovely.

Are you able to offer any practical support to her? A note saying that you are here if she needs you and specify, i.e to care for the pets in her absence, to talk on the phone? You know the situation and whether that is appropriate.

I agree flowers are a pain - chocolates, healthyish snacky bits (nuts, yoghurt raisins, or whatever) even biscuits, (when you are grieving it can be difficult to eat a whole meal), nice teas, candle, and card. people of faith might appreciate a reference to their belief, i.e. a Saint, etc.

It's more the thought that you made the effort than the actual items. Hope it all goes well.

NameAgeLocation Sat 30-Jan-16 15:47:08

What a lovely idea.

Depending on finances, either frozen home-cooked meals or nutritious home delivery vouchers (if you are in the SE there are probably a range of options available)would probably be a good idea.

I agree with PPs that it's the thought that counts more than what you actually put in the package.

Warm woolly socks??
A cosy blanket?

stumblymonkey Sat 30-Jan-16 17:52:22

Thanks everyone...we have gone with a calming scented candle, some 'sleep therapy' calming bath oils, chocolate, cosy socks, a keepsake box, a journal and pen, some nighttime Kalms and a mindfulness colouring book with pencils plus card X

TheGreatSnafu Sat 30-Jan-16 18:28:14

That's so lovely. I am sure it will be well received.

missnevermind Sat 30-Jan-16 20:05:52

Stumblymonkey I have a mindfulness colouring book after doing group therapy with a councillor. I also bought my sister one for Christmas as she is struggling to get on after our mothers sudden death.
A very good choice for her.

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