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Has anyone else had nightmares about the dead person? Sensitive upsetting content

(9 Posts)
IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster Thu 28-Jan-16 21:13:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster Thu 28-Jan-16 21:14:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyLuck81 Thu 28-Jan-16 21:17:19

I don't have nightmares like that but I had incredibly vivid dreams after dad died where I was trying to get to him so we could hug but no matter how hard I tried he was always too far away. It's three years since he died coming up and they are now very rare but do still happen.

Unmumsnetty hugs to you as it's hard enough dreaming about the person you lost in any context never mind as a nightmare. It must be very tough.

CocktailQueen Thu 28-Jan-16 21:18:48

Not nightmares like you mention but yes, dreams. I think it's your brain trying to process everything that has happened and work through it. Sounds very upsetting, though, and I hope they stop soon.

Do you think counselling would be helpful?
flowers

IAmPissedOffWithAHeadmaster Thu 28-Jan-16 21:20:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MummyBex1985 Thu 28-Jan-16 21:26:50

I suffered a very close loss when I was 18 - someone who was basically a second mum to me. We were very close and she did everything for me, she even paid for my education because my parents didn't have the cash!

Anyway - one day I went to her house and found her dead (I went up daily). She had a heart defect she didn't know about. At the time I just muddled through and seemed to get over things within a few weeks. Then after a few years I'd start getting very vivid, horrifying nightmares about it - and last year (11 years on) I was having nightmares 2-3 times a week where she would be dead or dying in various scenarios. In one, she actually was dead in my living room holding onto my DD. It was an awful image.

Is it possible you've tried to suppress the awful memories and that's why they're coming back at night? If so, counselling might help you - or even CBT.

You have my sympathy - the nightmares are grim. It's sick what your own head can concoct at times. I'm seeing a counsellor again now as my mum died six weeks ago very suddenly and my brain can't get the images of the ICU out of my brain. Hoping this time I'll stop the nightmares before they start.

Hugs for you flowers

Noregretsatall Thu 28-Jan-16 21:27:45

I sympathise OP. My mum died too last year, from cancer. I was there when she died and I cannot get the image of her at that point out of my mind. I've had some horrid, disturbing dreams too that leave me feeling emotionally wiped. I just want to remember her as she was before she got ill and have nice dreams about her.

MummyBex1985 Thu 28-Jan-16 21:30:47

Oh and another thing - I'm not sure if you believe in this, but sometimes the dream dictionary can be very accurate - does any of this make sense to you?

www.dreambible.com/search.php?q=Dirt

Biscuitsneeded Sun 31-Jan-16 21:35:19

My beloved friend died very suddenly of a heart defect she never knew about. In the months that followed I often dreamed about her, and she was always very ill in the dream, obviously dying, but we were in the same room and we could talk and I could touch her. I would wake up and feel so utterly bereft, and cheated that we never did have that sort of situation, and the chance to say goodbye, even though it would have been awful for her to know she was going to have to leave her kids. Obviously it was my just my subconscious mind trying to round off for me what actually got severed very suddenly, but it was very upsetting. Since those days when I've dreamt of her it's mostly been just as if she were alive; there's no death in the dream, either happening or foreshadowed. It's glorious while I'm dreaming and then bittersweet when I wake up and realise it's not real, but nothing like as disturbing and upsetting as the one where she's dying. Grief is a very strange process, I'm finding. I'm sorry your dreams are so nightmarish, that must be horrible. I'd be tempted to see if a counsellor can help.

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