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How to acknowledge cousin's baby who died 5 years ago when welcoming new baby

(9 Posts)
DifficultAnswers Tue 19-Jan-16 16:57:00

My cousin's son (her first child) was stillborn 5 years ago. Last week, she gave birth to her second child (who is healthy). I live abroad so won't be seeing them for a while, but will of course send a card and gift. It seems wrong not to mention her firstborn in the card, but I'm not sure how. Or would two separate cards, one to congratulate on new baby and one to commemorate her first child, be better? Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks.

Akire Tue 19-Jan-16 17:04:59

I would say congratulations on X I know you have had a rough time since name of baby. I'm so happy you are all doing well. Can't wait to met him/her?
Think perfectly acceptable to mention baby by name as in your not afraid too/he's not forgotten or dosnt replace how they feel about other baby. Somebody else could probable word it better than me.

DifficultAnswers Tue 19-Jan-16 17:07:54

Thanks for your advice, Akire. Greatly appreciated.

AppleSnapple Tue 19-Jan-16 20:23:11

Agree mention baby 1 in baby 2's card. My dear friend lost her 4 year old, and one of the hardest things she said was getting Christmas cards where v fee people acknowledged or mentioned her. So I would say "I'm sure baby1 would've been so proud/happy with his/her new baby sister/brother".

Or else say something to the effect that you are thinking lots of baby 1 too at this happy time, and hope that she (mum) is doing ok. Or something like that!

AppleSnapple Tue 19-Jan-16 20:23:45

V few, not v fee, sorry

DifficultAnswers Tue 19-Jan-16 21:28:42

Thank you Apple. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's child.

ThroughThinkandThing Fri 22-Jan-16 13:30:06

On the same lines, when a friend gave birth to her second child after her first was stillborn, I wrote "Many congratulations on the birth of X, a beautiful sister for your beloved Y". I think also think it best to include that in the same card, rather than separate cards.

throwingpebbles Fri 22-Jan-16 13:32:48

I think when this happened to my friend I said something along the lines of congratulations on birth of X, a beautiful sister for the lovely Y or something along those lines. It seemed right to acknowledge their sibling in a positive way so the family knew they were all in my thoughts

BertrandRussell Fri 22-Jan-16 13:36:16

I put something like "a huge welcome to Y - and always remembering her big sister X" when I had to do something similar.

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