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(6 Posts)
Hjb2410 Fri 08-Jan-16 12:42:20

My mum passed away very suddenly just over a year ago - 2 days before Christmas 2014.
She had gone to bed for a nap and never woke up.
Myself and my dad had to carry cpr out on her which we were unsuccessful.

I work as a dental nurse and we have to do cpr training yearly as part of our job, this afternoon is our yearly CPR training.
I don't think I can face it; im absolutely dreading it.
I don't know what to do, my gp spoke to my employer about me doing it seperately but he said I have to do it in a group which I understand but does he know how many memories he is bringing back. Well actually they have never gone away I live with them everyday.

MummyBex1985 Fri 08-Jan-16 13:29:24


I hate to say it but if you genuinely can't face it then I'd be going off sick. Then you won't have to do it in a group - he will have to arrange for separate training. It's outrageous that he's ignoring your GPs advice.

Can you talk to him and tell him how you feel? I don't think it's unreasonable not to participate in the circumstances. Men aren't mind readers and unfortunately you may need to spell it out for him and simply refuse to do it if you can't face it.

That said, it might not be as bad as you think. Sometimes when you think about something being awful it doesn't actually transpire to be like that. Maybe you could put a positive spin on it - rather than letting the negative thoughts of last year overwhelm you, turn it into a positive that you're re learning something that might save someone one day.

Babymouse Fri 08-Jan-16 13:35:51

Let the trainer know they should be able to make concessions.

Sorry for your loss.

Hjb2410 Fri 08-Jan-16 13:54:23

I've just walked out of it
I couldn't face sitting there with the guy doing the chest compressions and talking about it. It's all come back to me. How I felt that day!
How can he talk about it in such a chilled out manor?
I never got chance to tell him about my experience but tbh I don't think I could physically say it.

specialsubject Fri 08-Jan-16 15:58:49

I did a first aid course last year and there was someone in a similar situation. She was taken aside for separate help; I don't know what happened but it is something first aid trainers know about. As noted, PEOPLE aren't mind readers so they do need to be informed.

suggest writing/emailing to the trainer/his company explaining and asking for a solution.

FWIW, remember you did all that could be done for your mum.

Heatherjayne1972 Wed 03-Feb-16 20:45:05

I work in a dental practice and these things are arranged yearly and all staff are expected to attend. It's done as a group setting ( not usually done individually) and everyone is required to have a go so the staff can get the certificate for their learning logs -it's a requirement for cpd. However given the circumstances I think you were right not to do it. It's too soon- but you did the best you could for your mum it's highly likely that had you been in hospital and / or been a doctor or nurse the outcome may have been the same. So sorry for your loss

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