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One year anniversary

(5 Posts)
Hjb2410 Tue 22-Dec-15 13:56:48

Tomorrow will be a year since my beautiful mum passed away. My mum passed away very suddenly; she had gone up to bed for a sleep and never woke up. I remember the day like it happened yesterday. To be truthful I don't even think I have processed anything that has happened.

Me and my dad carried cpr out on my mum but it was unsuccessful. Unfortunately we were too late however the paramedics did say there was nothing we could have done.

I never got to have a final conversation with her to say goodbye or even that I loved her.
I'm dreading christmas because it's a constant reminder of what happened and I never got to have a last christmas with my full family.
We knew this year was going to be difficult however I never expected to loose my mum.
Since then my mums dad has had to go into
a home and he has deteriorated massively. My dads dad has got cancer and has been given a year to live.

Tbh I don't know what I'm writing about im just wittering I just feel so alone at this time all I want to do is sleep and drink to try to block it all out. I just want my mum.

Mumblepot26 Tue 22-Dec-15 16:16:48

So sorry for your loss Hjb, what a terrible shock that must have been. A year is no time at all. Do you have anyone in RL who you can share the pain of these feelings with? A sibling or good friend?

Hjb2410 Tue 22-Dec-15 18:46:07

I do
I just feel like Im scared to tell them how I'm truly feeling if that makes sense?
Like I'm jealous every time people take for granted visits to their parents and things because I would give anything to have one more time with my mum.
I think I'm scared to let my barrier down incase I can never get back up again.
I just keep myself busy to the point im exhausted

Sparkygal Tue 22-Dec-15 22:02:46

Hi Hjb,

I was thinking about you the other day. Can hardly believe it's been a year already since we lost our lovely mums. It feels like no time at all and yet too long since I last saw my mum.

3rd Dec was the one year anniversary for my mum, and although I was dreading it, it was very sad but not as bad as I thought it would be.

I will be thinking on you tomorrow x

Hjb2410 Wed 23-Dec-15 12:44:26

@sparklygal il private message you smile xx

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