Hi,
My mum passed away in April 13 and I'm generally coping quite well I think.
But, then I have times where it's harder. For example - on Thursday morning I woke up from a bad dream that mum was poorly but alive (poorly with something different to the stroke she actually had). All day on Thursday I couldn't stop thinking about this dream at all. I've not spoken to anyone about it - partly cos I'm not sure who I'd speak to to be honest.
I'm also still quite cross (not an angry cross where I'm taking it out on anyone and anything). More a confused cross I guess that she's been taken from me when I still need my mum.
My dad died when I was little and I guess this adds to my frustration. I guess I wonder what kind of God takes a dad who has small children and then takes mum just as she'd got her wish of a grandchild ( DS was 3m old).
It still upsets me how it all happened and I sit wondering if she felt alone or if she knew I was there with her at the end. I sometimes can't get the image of her when I found her out of my head and panic that she was lying there feeling like we'd never find her.
I have managed to carry on with my life and have done well at uni ( for her) and been raising my son so it's not like it consumes me.
I was so young when my dad died that really I don't remember him and so wasn't really able to miss him so when mum died I think I just thought I'd handle it the same way and I just haven't. Realistically I know why I've handled it differently.
I don't even know what, if anything, I'm asking here and I know it's all a jumble. I feel like Id feel better if I had someone to talk about mum to but I've no one to do that with.
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5 replies
Milkand2sugarsplease · 06/11/2015 20:08
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