I came back to work yesterday, 2 1/2 weeks after my partner died 6 weeks after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.
I spent the 2 weeks after he died sorting out his cottage/clothes/belongings, along with his sons. This was time that had been booked as annual leave, as my partner and I had planned to be biking in Scotland. Then it was the funeral, I get 3 days compassionate leave so took that along with another 2 days annual leave.
I got back to work, I had a short meeting with my line manager and then started to catch up on 3 weeks worth of emails.
One person (another of the 3 of the management team I'm part of) has been lovely. Nobody else in a team of 14 has said a thing.
My managers bosses haven't said anything - I don't even know whether they know or not.
It just feels like I'm expected to come back and pretend that nothing has happened. Even down to the fact that I have an appraisal booked for tomorrow, with plans to discuss where I want to be in 6 and 12 months time. I don't even know where I want to be in an hour, let alone a month or a year - and to be honest, from a work point of view I don't actually care. We are an office with 3 smallish teams, working very closely together. I know the manager of one of the other teams hadn't been told, as she came up to me on my first morning back to ask how my partner was doing.
Am I being a bit precious here?
I don't want to sit at my desk and cry all day, but I think I would like some acknowledgement, and for my boss to realise that it's probably not the best time for an appraisal. I'm a bit sad that there wasn't even a sympathy card from my team.
Should I just be pretending that nothing happened?
Sorry, this is long and ranty, but today isn't a good day. :(
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.
Bereavement
Back at work - being ignored
57 replies
pinktransit · 06/10/2015 14:05
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.