Supporting my 15 year old dd

(7 Posts)
Rainbowlou1 Fri 21-Aug-15 22:28:41

I've just had to tell my daughter that her friend was killed this morning by a drunk driver...she is utterly heartbroken and cannot understand how life can be cruel.
What more Can I do other than cuddle her and tell her she can talk to me?
I'm so crap I tried to be really strong but I burst into tears when I told her.

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Ilikesweetpeas Fri 21-Aug-15 22:33:09

Oh, your poor DD and her friend. What a dreadful thing to happen. When I was 16 a friend was killed in a car crash and I remember the pain. I wouldn't worry about crying, you can't hide emotion over something like this. I think that all you can do is be there for your DD flowers

Rainbowlou1 Fri 21-Aug-15 22:34:59

Thank you xx she has never experienced anyone close dying at all, we are cuddled up on the sofa in pj's watching stand up comedy x

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FadedRed Fri 21-Aug-15 23:06:52

flowers flowers
What an awful thing to have happened.
It's not about 'being strong', it's about 'being there' for her, which you are now and will be in the future.
There's nothing good to say about this senseless death, no words can make it better. But listening, crying along with her, showing how precious she is to you will help the time pass until your Dd 'gets used' to the reality that her friend is gone.
You may also find that she will get some comfort from meeting up with mutual friends. Encourage them to meet at your house if that is possible, providing drinks and snacks and support.
In a day or two she and her friends might find it helps to write something, memories, maybe photos, poems, things that they enjoyed, outings, even jokes that made them laugh, that sort of thing, maybe to give to her friends parents or at/after funeral or memorial service.

Rainbowlou1 Fri 21-Aug-15 23:13:02

Thank you x
She met her through a drama group and have a big performance in 2 weeks time Which is going to be so tough for them all..meantime they have rehearsals together so I think the group leaders are prepared to have a big chat with them all on Sunday.
It's horrible and so cruel, her family
Must be absolutely devastated x

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Mermaidhair Sat 22-Aug-15 09:42:02

Just be there for her and be kind. You sound like a lovely mum. I remember when I was 15, my friend that I had known since we were toddlers died. My stepmum didn't offer me any affection(never did), and was not caring to me at all. I was heartbroken. I remember getting a lot of comfort from friends. You are doing great! It may be nice to invite a few of her friends around to, whenever you think the time is right. She will be ok, just watch out for any unusual behaviour. flowersfor your dd

Rainbowlou1 Sat 22-Aug-15 10:17:37

Thank you mermaidhair...
I'm so sorry you went through this with no support from your step mum sad
we stayed up until about 1 this morning.
She is having a nice long lie in at the moment so fingers crossed is feeling a little better today x

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