struggling to deal with my stillborn

(16 Posts)
lee2015 Fri 14-Aug-15 06:18:04

Each day is a challenged. Words can't describe the anguish , pain and hurt I feel. I replay what's happened to me over n over. I think part of me is still in shock and that's the reason why I do this. Loosing a life inside of me has taken a shimmer of me sad it's taken that glow I had. I named my princess darcy and I am so proud she chose me to be her mum. Xxx

OP’s posts: |
Nolim Fri 14-Aug-15 06:33:39

So sorry op

QOD Fri 14-Aug-15 06:40:02

flowers

andadietcoke Fri 14-Aug-15 06:50:13

I'm so sorry for your loss. Darcy is a beautiful name, you chose very well.

Maltesermom Fri 14-Aug-15 06:53:20

Sending you so many huggles x

lee2015 Fri 14-Aug-15 07:54:36

Thanks everyone for your kind messages. I lost darcy in June at 26 weeks. Struggling from now to September because that's when she was due. Only the Lord knows why ? God bless u all . Actually didn't think anyone would acknowledged me , so a big massive thank you
Alisia xx

OP’s posts: |
itsbetterthanabox Fri 14-Aug-15 08:57:51

I'm so sorry thanks
You are a wonderful mother to a beautiful angel.

DiscoDiva70 Fri 14-Aug-15 09:02:24

I'm very sorry flowers

gingerbreadmam Fri 14-Aug-15 09:09:21

hi alicia i am so sorry for you loss. i just recently lost my son at 27 weeks, in fact its 3 weeks ago today since i gave birth to him.

i completely understand how u feel. it is heartbreaking and it has stirred all sorts of things in me.

have you tried to see support anywhere? im in the process of arranging counselling and have emailed sands a couple of times just to vent.

i have also made sure to keep myself busy but give myself time to be sad about it too. if i feel like crying i cry and just tell myself its normal i am supposed to be upset. we got a puppy which has been weird in a lot of ways as it is so much like having a baby but he doesnt give me much time to myself which im feeling is a good thing and i have somewhere to focus my love.

if you need to chat i am usually on here all the time feel free to pm me.

once again i am so very sorry for your loss this must be one of the worst things that can happen to someone thanks

lee2015 Fri 14-Aug-15 10:39:54

Hello ginger bread mam so sorry for your lost sweetheart. Like yourself I'm up and down. I have a five year old son called zay it's been really hard to explain to him why? I did go to a sands meeting , it was really good to know I wasn't on my own. Sorry to hear about your son deeply from my heart. The next hurdle for both of us is the consultation. Hoping to find answers? But I also know there maybe no answers which is hurtful. I would love to try again sometime next year. Xx

OP’s posts: |
WanderingTrolley1 Fri 14-Aug-15 10:43:23

flowers

I'm sorry.

gingerbreadmam Fri 14-Aug-15 12:28:31

yes we are awaiting post mortem results. i think in a way we are lucky. an issue was spotted at 20 week scan with the development of his right leg and it was quite severe. we were advised to have an amnio however this showed everything was clear so although we knew we'd have a hard journey when he came it was just his leg if that makes sense. we were having regular scans because of this and it was at the 27wk one we discovered he had died.

im like you, plus if i have a drink the next day i am so much worse. i cant imagine how hard it is explaining to another dc however kids are very resiliant and in sure he is ok.

im not ready to try for a while only because i had just had an mmc before this. there was 6 wks between pregnancies and i wasn14wks when mmc was finallt dealt with so feel like ive been pregnant forever. i want a nice rest now and to get back to being me for a bit which sounds a bit selfish i know.

glad the sand meeting went well. i missed this one as i hadnt realised when it was but might go to the next one if i feel like it.

LittleTulip Sat 15-Aug-15 10:02:48

Lee I am so sorry for your loss. Darcy is a beautiful name.

I lost my beautiful baby boy almost two years ago now in August 2013, I was 25 weeks. I remember the raw pain and anguish. It will get better I promise, in the meantime take each day at a time and look after yourself and your partner.

Love to you to ginger.

There is a thread on the conception forum for ladies who have been through a stillbirth wether they are ttc or not. Even if you don't want to join but read it may help you relate your feelings.

gingerbreadmam Sat 15-Aug-15 13:33:26

thanks tulip will have a look. havent ventured over that way since as not ttc but will have a nosey. thanks.

lee2015 Tue 18-Aug-15 08:09:37

Thanks so much tulip. God bless u , it really helps to know I'm not on my own xx

OP’s posts: |
sweetlucy Fri 04-Sep-15 11:40:52

so sorry for your loss. Darcy is a lovely name.
Like LittleTulip says one day at a time. Give yourself time to grieve.
5 years on I still shed tears for the little boy I never got to know. I expect I will always miss him.

flowers

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