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It's my mums birthday

(8 Posts)
Alfabetibisgeti Sat 11-Jul-15 00:47:33

She would've been 73.
She died almost 4 years ago, six weeks after my dd was born and ds was 18 months old.

I have no idea why I'm writing this as I'm heading to bed but I'm pretty sure no one else will even notice and I just wanted to get it out there.

Miss you mum sad

sooperdooper Sat 11-Jul-15 00:50:58

Thinking of you xx

Alfabetibisgeti Sat 11-Jul-15 00:53:59

Thank you x

Oly4 Sat 11-Jul-15 13:57:18

Thinking of you too. My mum is dying and I know her birthday will always be a big deal for me.
Happy birthday to your lovely mum x

sooperdooper Sat 11-Jul-15 18:42:32

Hope you're doing ok today, my mum passed away last month, it would've been her 60th next month and I'm dreading it tbh xx

Stubbed Sat 11-Jul-15 18:58:14

Your post struck a cord with me. My mum died nearly 2 years ago, also aged 69, when my daughter was 6 weeks and my son was 21 months, very similar to you.

The worst thing is that she never really knew my children. She loved spending time with my son although I have little record of it to show him. He asks about 'granny' from time to time, but I know he doesn't remember her.

She was fun, and loving, and it feels like yesterday that she was here.

Alfabetibisgeti Sat 11-Jul-15 20:13:48

Oh oly, my very best wishes to you and your mum.
sooper it's always been a bad day for me, more so than the anniversary of her passing. I can remember her last birthday and, though she was ill, there was no sign that she was only days from the end.
Sounds like you and I have a very similar experience stubbed.
Can I ask if you have the feeling that I have, that is that I haven't grieved properly for her?
2 babies to look after leaves little time for headspace.
My 2 are 4 and 5 now and they know granny from photos. I have a precious few with dd. they are so matter of fact when granny (or granda) come up in conversation. "Granny died, mummy", or "you don't have a mummy and daddy anymore mummy"
I let them see me sad but struggled this morning as I was extremely upset. I hate hiding away but I don't want to upset them too.
Thank you all for your kind thoughts and my sincerest condolences for your losses flowers

Stubbed Sat 11-Jul-15 22:42:42

Yes it does feel like I've not grieved properly actually. I rarely cried; my dd had reflux and we didn't sleep for months so during the first year I focussed on getting everyone fed / washed and not much else.

Luckily my aunt (who was with her when she died) is good to talk to about it, so sometimes I call for a mutual moment. This really helps x

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