My baby son 'Bertie' died on the 8.11 - heartbroken

(203 Posts)
rahrah1 Thu 16-Nov-06 11:06:42

Hi all, I have used mumsnet through my pregnany, and gave birth to my baby son when he was only 24 weeks. I had a very troublesome pregnany and my membranes broke at 23 weeks. At 24 weeks they induced as I was having big bleeds from the placenta, had a strep b and there was no fluid around the baby. Therefore the consultant felt it was the safe option to give everyone the best chance to deliver. I had bleeding throughout my pregnancy and was in and out of hospital. But at no point could they do anything. The whole experience has been truely traumatic and we really had hoped that our little son would make it. When he was born he was taken to neo-natal and showed lots of good signs. But it soon became obvious that he was going to suffer long term damage if we kept him ventilated, due to the immaturity of his lungs. We had made a decision with the doctors that if he was to become disabled through treatment then we would end his suffering. We took him off the ventilator after 6hrs. I feel every inch of my body aching for him, as he was so perfect... but my body just let him down. He was a good weight of 710grams and was perfect in every way. He tried to cry, gripped on to his ventilator...held our hands, we tickled his feet and he reacted... he brought me more pleasure than anything else in this world. He is also our first born and I'm not sure how I am going to move on. When all my friends and relatives are here Im ok, but as soon as they leave I breakdown and cry until it really hurts. The funeral is soon and everyone will be getting back to their normal lifes...when I am stuck in a spiral of what ifs and what should of been. God I miss him so much.....

OP’s posts: |
ImaVeryMerryChristmasFairy Thu 16-Nov-06 11:08:24

Oh love, my heart goes out to you.

beckybrastraps Thu 16-Nov-06 11:09:01

Other people will offer more effective and knowledgable support, but all I can say is that I'm so sorry for you and your family.

dinosaur Thu 16-Nov-06 11:09:36

Oh, my heart goes out to you on the loss of your beautiful son.

NomDePlume Thu 16-Nov-06 11:11:00

Oh rahrah, how very sad

Have you been in touch with SANDS ?

FireFaerie Thu 16-Nov-06 11:11:14

Oh hun, My thoughts are with you.

Tutter Thu 16-Nov-06 11:12:35

i am so so sorry

MascaraOHaraIncredibleSheHulk Thu 16-Nov-06 11:13:29

I have no words.. I am so sorry for your loss and suffering.

sandcastles Thu 16-Nov-06 11:13:46

I am so sorry for your loss

AnguaVonUberwald Thu 16-Nov-06 11:13:50

Just had to post and say my thoughts are with you. . He sound beautiful.

northerner Thu 16-Nov-06 11:14:33

Oh rahrah, God only knows what you are going through. To deliver a beautiful baby, touch him and feel him only to have him taken far far too early. My heart goes out to you and your family.

There are mums on here who have also sufferred the tragic loss of a baby, I'm sure they'll be along soon.

Take care.
xx

WigWamBam Thu 16-Nov-06 11:16:00

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you both have plenty of support to get through the next few weeks and months.

Would second NDP's advice to speak to SANDS - their website is here .

fireflyfairy2 Thu 16-Nov-06 11:16:11

My goodness, My heart just broke for you No words can bring him back.. If you would like to get in touch with a friend of mine who lost her baby daughter soon after birth, I can forward your details.. she will know your grief and it may help to talk to someone who has been through the same? The offer is there.

Take each day at a time rahrah and remember you were blessed to have carried him and to have know him, he will have touched your life in a very special way.

My SIL lost her baby Nathan shortly after birth, it is the hardest thing I have ever seen them go through My thoughts are with you and your dh, be there for each other.

bossykate Thu 16-Nov-06 11:18:33

so very, very, very sorry

rahrah1 Thu 16-Nov-06 11:19:24

I have contacted Tommy's as they do research into pregnancy complications as I really want to know what happened and why there was no medical help for us... except for keep your legs crossed on most occasions. We are having all donations instead of flowers for the funeral go to Tommys and i'm arranging a charity event with some friends... so I can send money in to Tommys in his memory.

OP’s posts: |
morningpaper Thu 16-Nov-06 11:19:27

so very sorry rahrah

flamesparrow Thu 16-Nov-06 11:20:59

Oh sweetheart

prettymum Thu 16-Nov-06 11:21:47

im so sorry {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}

aDadOnMumsnet Thu 16-Nov-06 11:22:03

How awful. I'm really sorry to hear that.

rahrah1 Thu 16-Nov-06 11:27:11

Thanks for the offer Fireflyfairy2, It has actually amazed me how common the lose of a baby is. I have a beavement midwife and my normal midwife that I have been speaking to and have an appointment with my consultant to discuss what happened and if I can progress onto another pregnancy. I think I am just angry at the moment that he was taken from me. It may help emailing your friend... it would be nice if you could forward their details, as long as they do not mind. Thanks X

OP’s posts: |
GreenLumpyTonsilsAgain Thu 16-Nov-06 11:28:38

I am so sorry. I can only imagine what you must be going through. I am lighting a candle for you.

rahrah1 Thu 16-Nov-06 11:29:52

I'm logging off now, as we have to go and find a venue for after the funeral, but will be back on later for those details... thanks all for your support and it is a comfort to speak about him and for others to think about him too. Thank you XX

OP’s posts: |
Bugsy2 Thu 16-Nov-06 11:32:56

I am so very sorry rahrah. Give yourself time to grieve. Thinking of you.

Paddlechick666 Thu 16-Nov-06 11:33:57

so so sad to hear of your loss.

my thoughts and love are with you and your family at this difficult time.

emmatom Thu 16-Nov-06 11:37:12

I can only begin to imagine your pain and loss.

I hope time and good support from those around you will help in some way. x

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