Cultural question - Indian family bereavement

[Pipistrella]

I've just found out that the lovely, sweet son of our friends has been killed in an accident.

I want to take them a card or something, to know we are thinking of them and so shocked and sorry - what is appropriate? They are members of a large and close Indian community here in the UK, there won't be a funeral here, but I don't want to do the wrong thing by turning up at their door - what would be the right thing from someone who was a friend/neighbour, but not a close friend?

Thank you for any suggestions.

[monkeychops06]

I am sorry to hear about your friend's loss.

indian culture differs but generally you are not allowed to cook until after the funeral so friends and family generally bring food. Something that they can freeze and take out when they feel like eating. I would take vegetarian food just to be sure. Although a card and flowers to say you are thinking about them will help.

Hope that helps.

[Pipistrella]

Thank you, yes it does - would shop food be Ok or should it be home made? I have a feeling others will be providing meals etc. and am a rubbish cook

They are Nasrani Christian I think, if that makes a difference.

[monkeychops06]

I am sure shop bought food will be fine. I know family friend's got lots of meals bought from restaurants. It's lovely of you to go to such effort.

I am not quite sure about the traditions for Nasrani Christians. Sorry!

[Pipistrella]

Not to worry, it's just nice that you replied

They are lovely, lovely parents, their whole lives were about giving him opportunities, they must be in absolute pieces. They have a daughter back in India which is a blessing.

Thank you for your advice and help x

[Lolimax]

I don't know anything about that particular religion but I think an acknowledgement is always appreciated (having just lost my mum) so I would say something like a card would be lovely to let the family know you are thinking of them.

[Pipistrella]

I am so sorry to hear about your Mum, Loli. Thank you for the advice, I'll drop in a card tomorrow - I won't knock on the door in case they are busy or too upset to talk to people.