This is a Premium feature
OH's Grandad died today. How can I support him?(4 Posts)
OH and his DGD were close. We went to see him today. He could barely talk, but we could tell he was still in there. He knew he was dying. He's been awake all morning because he was scared to sleep because he knew he wouldn't wake up. He slipped away at 11pm, still awake, still fighting. Sorry, this was meant to be about OH, but I think it's affecting me more than I realised.
OH said to me that he doesn't think he can cope with this.
Things have been tough for the last few months. I've had a massive flare-up of my mental health problems, hit rock bottom (again) about a week ago and I am only just starting to feel stronger.
I'm not sure I'm strong enough to support him through this, but I know I have to be. How do I help him?
Sorry if that doesn't make huge amounts of sense. I've been awake since 6:30 with only 4hrs sleep and it's been a very difficult day
It sounds like his grandad was much loved, I think you will support him because it's what we do isn't it no one really knows what to say or do but take your lead from him if he wants to talk, practical things like making sure things in the house are sorted like shopping. If he is quiet don't necessarily be alarmed I was very quiet when mum died and didn't want to talk, her husband tried to get me into counselling but I didn't want to I just wanted some time with my thoughts so bear that in mind if he's not himself. also take care of you too you have both lost someone.
When I lost my beloved grandma, DH made sure there was food in the house, DCs were looked after and recognised that I needed to spend time with my DM and DBro. He is not usually a very sensitive soul so I really appreciated him dealing with practical domestic things that I would normally take care of and letting me grieve. Lots of cups of tea, an ear to listen when I needed it and a bit of space were all helpful. Asking if I was ok, every time he came in the room, was a bit annoying but the occasional hug helped.
Just be there for him when he needs you. And allow yourself to grieve too.