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10 months

(5 Posts)
WiggleGinger Thu 12-Feb-15 22:26:22

My wonderful friend lost her beautiful daughter today.
She was 10 months old, she just didn't wake up this morning.
We are a close group of friends but all live all over the UK.
What can we do?
Is there even anything?
I/we feel so bloody useless!
Any advice gratefully received.

LePetitPrince Thu 12-Feb-15 22:29:24

How awful for your friend and her family. Sadly there is nothing you can do to make it better but being there for her as she grieves will be a comfort to her. Life is so unfair.

minmooch Fri 13-Feb-15 08:21:34

How utterly dreadful, your poor friend.

I lost my 18 year old son nearly a year ago. Very little helps as it is the worse thing you will ever have to experience. Be there for her, talk about her daughter.

Don't tell her there was a reason for this - no reason can make this any better.

Don't tell her time will heal. Time does not heal, we just learn to live alongside our grief.

Don't tell her she can have more children - she might not be able to and any future children will never replace a lost child.

Don't tell her she will get over this. She won't. Ever.

Remember her daughters birthday and the anniversary of her death. Remember your friend on her birthday, Mother's Day, Christmas, every Sunday when most families have a family day.

Hold her. Cry with her. Tell her you love her. Tell her you love her daughter and will never forget her. Agree with her this is the most terrible thing to have happened, do not try to minimise anything.

Send her texts with no expectations of answers. Just tell her you are thinking of her. Often. Child loss is a very isolating, solitary journey and we need to know that there are strong friends who will walk alongside us for some parts of it.

WiggleGinger Fri 13-Feb-15 14:44:55

Thank you both.
Such wise words
Xxxxx

MrsWho Fri 13-Feb-15 16:28:24

I'm hoping this is the same one I know of (friend of a friend) otherwise it's two very sad losses.

My friend is in the same situation as you looking for answers on what to do hence me looking here for her.

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