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My dad died a week ago today and it hurts so much.(6 Posts)
Suddenly and unexpectedly although he had been poorly with a chronic condition. He was 69 so not old.
It's only sinking in now and it hurts. It hurts because he wasn't a good dad, quite the opposite, but he didn't mean to be. In the last year with his health poor I travelled a long way every other weekend to be with him.. usually he was pretty drunk when I arrived (functional alcoholic) and he wasn't that much fun to be with. But the last weekend, he was sober and it was nice. When I put him to bed (he had broken his thigh this year and not recovered) he said he loved me. We had finally managed to have a good relationship..and now he's gone.
I feel so sad, and cheated, cheated that I will never be a little girl with a Dad who would do anything for her, like my DH is to our children. As an adult I can sort of understand the life events that made him how he was, but I wish I could grieve for a much loved dad that I lost, and not have it complicated with the pain of not knowing if he really ever loved me, and why he didn't try to be a proper dad. And now it's too late to ask why.
I'm so very glad I spent the last year being there, but it hurts. He knew he wasn't a good dad.. I found a letter in with his will in which he said, he hoped whatever he left would help make up for his failure as a father
I loved him, loved him regardless, and just wish I knew that he knew that...
I'm sorry for your loss
From what you've said about how you've been supporting him, it sounds like you showed him how much you loved him.
I'm so sorry for your loss
I have no wise words.
I loss my dad four months ago, he was 66.
Very sorry this has happened to your dad, to you and your family.
Grief is a long and very complex process.
Please be very kind to yourself and take it one day at a time x
Ah bless. I'm sure he knew that you loved him dearly. Lovely that he told you he loved you too.
I lost my dad many years ago. He wasn't perfect either, nobody is. But I miss him too.
It's really early days. Can you go out for a walk in the sunshine?
I am very sorry for your pain and confusion about the grief for your dad
I totally empathise with the confusion but and my father is still alive. I'm not sure that I will ever be able to do what you did in terms of caring for him fortnightly.
I wish you some peace of mind in the fact that you were wonderfully kind to care for what sounds like a troubled and difficult person (alcohol side)
Thinking of you xx