How to support Dad after sudden death of Mum

[pinkglitter80]

I’m after any advice about how I can support my Dad. My Mum died suddenly in May 2013 and I am the only child, so feel ‘responsible’ for my dad. I found it all very hard to deal with, I had a 5mo at the time, and it was impossible to get the space to grieve, although counselling helped a bit. Whilst my Dad is still going out and meeting friends etc, there are two main areas I am concerned about; he frequently mentions his life having no point etc, I struggle (despite wanting to) to find the time to phone him / see him (he lives 2 hrs away) as I now also have a 6mo (and 2yo) and he always says stuff like this just at the end of a visit. I gave him some info from the internet ages ago about cruse etc but he won’t use them …. Also his health is suffering as he won’t cook for himself – my mum did all the cooking – I’ve suggested simple things and bought easy recipe books, and tried to get him to take vitamins, all to no avail….He won’t go to the dr as he doesn’t trust them after my mum’s death… He is also (and has always been) a fairly negative person, eg he always complains about how busy he is, how much laundry there is to do, etc; he is retired we are in process of moving house and have 2 tiny children so I am not very sympathetic to all this!!
Any ideas how I can try and support him better?