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Best friend's dad killed in accident. Don't know how to help.

(6 Posts)
Chocolategirl7 Sun 28-Dec-14 20:36:10

Hi everyone, I'm looking for some suggestions on what I can do to support her.

It was a road accident today and although he was elderly, it is a huge shock. She lives 2 hours drive from me and fairly close to her immediate family and her in laws (who are a great help normally).

I've offered to go over but she's said it's not necessary at the moment but I don't know what else to do.

Any advice much appreciated.

CalicoBlue Sun 28-Dec-14 21:38:38

She will have lots of family and arrangements going on. When the funeral is over is when she will need support.

When my father died it was very busy. My best friend from college came to see me after the funeral, she just listened and talked about my Dad. It was just what I needed.

Kahlua4me Sun 28-Dec-14 21:44:22

Aree with above. It is after the funeral that she will need you. The next few weeks will be too busy and all consuming.

You could send a card and text her regularly to say you are thinking of her. Perhaps go over to see her for a cuppa at some point, I know it is a long way, so might not work.

The best you can do is try to keep in regular contact and support her after the funeral and ongoing. They are the interactions I remember most. Little snippets to say a friend is thinking of you and one that doesn't involve me having to do heaps in return...

Chocolategirl7 Mon 29-Dec-14 09:54:02

Thanks. I'm sure she has a million things on her mind at the moment so will just let her know I'm thinking about her and keep in touch. I don't want to be a burden but I do want her to know that I'm here for her.
Would you go to funeral? I know her mum and dad and immediate family reasonably well ( I'm godmother to her DS) but don't know her parents friends and worry that she'd feel she has to look after me!

Murdermysteryreader Mon 29-Dec-14 10:00:07

You have done well offering to go over. In the weeks to come offer to visit, take her flowers etc. Ring her and say I' m here and just listen. Lots of people don't know what to say so don't contact her this is the worse thing to do . If she has little children you might offer support near the funeral ie child care.

greenfolder Mon 29-Dec-14 22:06:40

I would go to the funeral. Have done for several friends and they came to my dad's funeral, especially if you knew him. I think it shows a bit of solidarity. Also adept at handing out sandwiches and making sure friend had a drink in her hand at the wake.

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