My best friend and her Husband lost their little boy back in October. He was only 4 weeks old. It's been a devestating time for them all, but they are looking forward to Christmas as much as they can with their other 2 children.
I found some brilliant advice on here about how to support them immediately after, and am still taking the occasional meal round and seeing them lots, offering support etc. My friends talk about their little boy, not all the time but when they feel like it.
I buy always buy their children Christmas and Birthday presents, and i'd like to buy him a little Christmas present, but would that upset them? I was thinking of a donaton to the Childrens ward he was on when he was in Hospital. I dont think an actual gift would be of any use (would it)?
Has anyone got any suggestions of a way to do this sensitively. To be honest, I think this Christmas especailly is going to be extremely hard/crappy for them anyway, a present from me isn't going to make things better or worse. But I am just worried of doing the 'wrong' thing.
I don't know, but I wonder if organising something 'in his memory', rather than buying a physical Christmas gift for him would be easier for them to deal with. A donation to the hospital in his memory sounds like a lovely thoughtful thing to do.
I have no experience of child loss but when a friend lost her Dad we gave a donation and a photo frame with the message that you can't have too many pictures of someon you loved and lost. It was a successful gift and much treasured.
Baffled - I think they have something for the tree already. A lovely idea though.
Santas - doing something might be a good idea. I'm not sure what though. Their other children are 8 and 4, I don't know if they would find it helpful. They've done so well dealing with everything, I'm not sure if doing something to remember him will bring up feelings of sadness when they've been so happy looking forward to Christmas.
OP my understanding is that the loss of a child is just so awful that you can't make it worse by mentioning it, but you can be ignoring it.
Their whole Xmas will be a front put on for the kids and a constant awareness of the hole in their family life that the loss of their baby has left them with. A small gift or " always remembering xxxx" in the Xmas card just acknowledges the feelings they have already.