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Aunties grief

(3 Posts)
mrsgiggle Tue 02-Dec-14 22:14:36

I lost my beautiful niece back in the summer, she was stillborn at 37 weeks, she was perfect. My heart is so sad for my sister, her husband and little boy. I think of them constantly and about how them must be feeling.

I am struggling with the grief myself, I was so looking forward to being an Aunty again. Then there is part of me that feels, maybe I should have moved on by now, but it is hard, its not like when an older relative has passed away, the only memories are with the few precious hours we got with her at the hospital.

I am struggling as I feel that my friend who i have known for 35 years has deserted me. I heard nothing from her for weeks after my niece died. It wasn't until I messaged her and told her how disappointed I was that she hadnt been in touch, she couldnt understand what she had done wrong. I now for certai if it had been the other way round I would have been round hers like a shot. That was back in October, we met up, ive heard nothing since.

I have had a lovely friend through all this, it has certainly made see who matters to me.

My problem is, sorry if the post is long winded, do I get in touch again, as I am still hurting and will for along time, or just move on from her?

I am struggling as I feel my oldes friend, whom I have knkwn for 35 years has deserted me. I

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 03-Dec-14 15:36:06

What a blow DSis and BIL, and I am sorry for your loss.

I am sure first and foremost you concentrated on supporting DSis, but you grieved too. It is a shame you feel your oldest friend let you down. Working through feelings of grief and pain it is a big help talking about them to anyone who'll listen.

People don't always know what to say and so they don't like to bring it up. When it is someone you know very well you might hope they'd understand but she must have misjudged how badly it hit you. Clearly seeing each other in October didn't much help mend matters. Have you been waiting to hear from her first?

I don't know if you or she celebrate Christmas but if you normally exchange cards then if you want to break the ice you could send an early one. Ideally you need to sort this face to face or by phone. She may of course have something going on in her own life which means she hasn't been able to respond as you'd have liked.

I am glad you found your other friend to be of support.

mrsgiggle Wed 03-Dec-14 19:45:33

Ive messaged her since about meeting up, but not really had much response. I know everything is fine with her, have seen her facebook status!!

Maybe just time to move and and realise, its the people that have helped me during this horrible time, that count.

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