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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Bumping this for you, I'm not on the SN boards but have you heard of the charity "Winstons Wish", for grieving children and their families? www.winstonswish.org.uk
They provide support for bereaved children, young people up to 18 and for their parents/carers. Not disability specific but I believe they have helped children on the spectrum.
Helpline: 08452 030405 (for those supporting a bereaved child)
(Monday – Friday 9am to 5pm and Wednesday evenings 7pm to 9.30 pm)
General Enquiries: 01242 515157
Sorry you are facing saying goodbye to your PIL.