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Bereavement help please

(4 Posts)
Shakey1500 Sun 02-Nov-14 20:16:47


My elderly Aunt died on Saturday night, I am/was her only living relative. I've never organised a funeral before and, I think I'm ok with what happens between now and the service etc but I have a question about work.

I'm obviously going to ring tomorrow and explain and I know they have a bereavement policy (it's a large agency) but I haven't got the policy to hand. My question is, say I'm entitled to three days off, do they have to be consecutive? Just that, I know tomorrow I'm to wait for the funeral director to ring and tell me when I can pick up the doctors certs and he's also going to make an appointment for me to register the death. But say that's Wed. Can I go to work Tues to "save one of the days" asitwere?

I know work will answer the question tomorrow but it's on my mind. Thanks

RustyParker Sun 02-Nov-14 22:06:23

Hi Shakey, I'm sorry to hear about your Aunt thanks

Depending on th nature of the business, it might come down to whether they would prefer you to take the three days in a row so they know for sure when you won't be in work but it makes sense to me, for you to use those days as and when you need to. I'm assuming it would be classed as compassionate leave? Sorry I can't be much help but I didn't want your post to go unanswered. I hope that your work will be sympathetic and allow you to do what needs doing as when you need to do it.

It sounds as though you have a very helpful funeral director who guiding you through the process. My twin sister died nearly a year ago and I had to do all the registering / arrangements myself for the first time and there's so much that needs doing in such a short space of time.

Take care of yourself. Hope you have rl help and support

Shakey1500 Mon 03-Nov-14 17:56:33

Thanks for replying Rusty

They were a bit "meh" to be honest. On the one hand saying "take it on a day to day basis" and on the other saying "but if you've an appointment in the morning we expect you to be in work in the afternoon and vice versa. Which is fine except I pay for a lift into work as I can't drive and the workplace is 30miles away. I appreciate it's not their concern how I get into work, but still sad

So basically, they were as clear as mud. I've managed to get a lot done today and have scheduled registering the death, seeing funeral director tomorrow so trying to fit it into as short a time as possible.

I'm sorry for the loss of your sister thanks

RustyParker Mon 03-Nov-14 19:49:36

Thank you for the flowers Shakey.

Sorry to hear work weren't as helpful as they could, or indeed should, be. Their response doesn't sound much like structured compassionate leave does it? Did you get to look at their bereavement policy? I guess you don't need something else to "do" though, it's enough just to get through the day at this stage. If you are struggling, most GPs are sympathetic and would be inclined to write you a sick note so just something to bear in mind should you need it.

You've got a lot done / organised today. I found those phonecalls to be the hardest job and the appointments easier as you are then face-to-face and are guided through it.

If there's anything about registering your Aunt's death or arranging the funeral / service you want to ask or talk about, then feel free to chat on here or if I can answer anything at all, then just shout.

Sending you lots of strength and wine

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