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Family letting me down(3 Posts)
Basically I'm 30 weeks pregnant with my first child and I'm in my early 20's.
Been with my partner for 6 years and he's very supportive.
6 weeks ago my grandma (my dad's mum) who I was very very close to fell, banged her head, had a brain haemorrhage and died suddenly. 24 hours later my mum committed suicide. I feel numb. I don't understand the last few weeks of my life or why anything has happened. I have my dad who I'm so amazingly grateful for. However I need my mum and my grandma- especially my mum. She was my best friend. I spoke to her everyday and it's killing me that I didn't know that she was depressed or having these thoughts. Only the night before she cradled me as we mourned the loss of my grandma.
My mum has two sisters, who I was really close to before- especially one. However since this has all happened I can't help but feel they came to the funeral and then got on with their lives as normal. They haven't called, text or anything. I'm not expecting people to put they're lives on hold. But I feel like mines ended and they seem unaffected even though I know they are hurting. I need support, I need someone to tell me how to look after a newborn, to help me get ready, to help me with hospital bags and advice, I need help and I can't understand why they seem distant. How can I bring this up? Or do I just need to accept that I'm on my own now? My mum should be 47 next month, I shouldn't even be writing this.
Oh my goodness me, you poor thing. I feel so sorry for you and wish I could help. My FIL died suddenly last year and it completely threw us all, the shock is the killer. I had no idea it was this horrendous until I was in the thick of it. I think you need to shout out "please help me" as it seems no-one realises how hard you are finding it. You shouldn't need to, someone should care enough to help, but sometimes people just need to be told "I can't do this".
I am so so sorry for your dreadful losses.
So sorry for your losses. Do call them. Explain your feelings over becoming a mum without yours in your life.
Maybe start the process by asking them what your mum/ grandma used to do and say about you as a newborn. They'll have memories to share.